


From Dreams to Waking World (I Will Be There)

by Aspenthekitsune



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (not a large part of the story, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Dissociation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Little bit of Fluff, M/M, Minor Eating Disorder, Mugging, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Discussion, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Trust Issues, Violence, it can be skipped), unsafe religious practices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspenthekitsune/pseuds/Aspenthekitsune
Summary: He was confused when his parents said that the boys were a curse from the Devil, but Virgil was pretty sure that the Devil only gave people bad things, and how could something so amazing be bad? He never understood when they tried to convince him that they weren’t real; that there weren’t three boys in his dreams, but a singular girl. He never understood why it was such a big deal that they were boys instead of girls, or that there were three of them instead of just one. It just didn’t make sense. He didn’t understand why they sprinkled him with special water, or why they sent him to preacher after preacher who told him that there was only one girl in his head. He knew what he saw! He wasn’t lying!. There were three boys in his head and they loved him very much. And when he told his parents that he loved them too, it only served to help grow the feelings of resentment they so obviously held for the boy.The boy with pale skin, raven black hair, tired mocha brown eyes, and three little boys dancing around in his head.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, LAMP - Relationship
Comments: 94
Kudos: 251





	1. A Prince, A Scholar, and A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to this fic! Warning! Although this fic doesn't go into detail about a lot of the stuff that happens to Virgil, there is definitely some heavily implied and talked about abuse and other potentially triggering content, so pay attention to the tags before you read! I hope you enjoy reading!

**Chapter 1: A Prince, A Scholar, and A Heart**

Virgil had always seen them in his dreams. The three little boys that he would talk to every night had been there since he was a child. Interactions were a bit weird when they were too little to really interact much, but it was clear that they were meant for each other. There was always a sort of calm that filled the air when they were near each other. Even as infants simply sitting in each others company, or cuddling against one another, they just always seemed to fit. The way they flowed was inexplicably perfect in every way. 

They grew up, of course. The curious young boy became the straight ‘A’ student with a strange love for Crofters Jam; the cheerful child became the seasoned empath who never failed to bring a smile to the gloomiest of faces and loved dad jokes with a passion; and the little prince became a thespian with a love for romance and all things Disney and dramatic. Of course, with new strengths came new weaknesses. No number of puns could cover up the empty feeling that sometimes overcame their dear heart, leaving the boy wondering if he is worthy of the love that the four of them share. No amount of acting could properly cover up the insecurities and fear of rejection that their prince fought valiantly day and night. Not even the scholar was free from turmoil, no matter how many times he denied having emotions in the first place. 

They were all so amazing and perfect. And no matter how they grew, their love for each other never changed. They never ran out of affection or hugs, and the warm acceptance and love that they felt for each other never wavered. It was the most beautiful thing Virgil had seen, and there wasn’t a day in his life where he didn’t thank God for this light that he had been blessed with. He didn’t exactly understand everything his parents taught him about god, but he understood that god was the reason for everything good that happens to you in your lifetime. God was who gave you the gift of life and the strength to continue living it. Virgil wasn’t sure he completely believed or understood that, but if God gave him this unwavering light, then he supposed having a little faith and thanking the celestial being was the least he could do.

It confused him when his parents said that those boys in his head weren’t a gift from god, or anything of the sort. They said that they were a curse from the Devil, but Virgil was pretty sure that the Devil only gave people bad things. How could something so amazing be bad? He never understood when they tried to convince him that they weren’t real; that there weren’t three boys in his dreams, but a _singular girl_. Lying was bad, so why were they lying? 

His parents never stopped trying to convince him that his soulmates weren’t real. He never understood why it was such a big deal that they were boys instead of girls, or that there were three of them instead of just one. It just didn’t make sense. He didn’t understand why they sprinkled him with special water, or why they sent him to preacher after preacher who told him that there was only _one girl_ in his head. He knew what he saw! He wasn’t lying! There were three boys in his head and they loved him very much. And when he told his parents that he loved them too, it only served to help grow the feelings of resentment they so obviously held for the boy.

The boy with pale skin, raven black hair, tired mocha brown eyes, and three little boys dancing around in his head.


	2. A Sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was 14 when his parents finally up and left him. He was honestly surprised that they had stuck it out for this long. There was no note saying why when he got back to the house to see his belongings on the porch, no explanation for why the locks were changed and nobody was in the house which was being approached by a moving van with a happy little family inside. No explanation was given, because none was needed. He knew why they left him. They had taken the liberty of reminding him every day of his existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings here for descriptions and mentions of: Child abuse, abuse by authority figures, unsafe religious practices, homophobia (internalized and external), religious guilt, starvation, homelessness, and a lot of self deprecation and unhealthy thinking from Virgil.

**Chapter 2: A Sinner**

He was 14 when his parents finally up and left him. He was honestly surprised that they had stuck it out for this long. There was no note saying why when he got back to the house to see his belongings on the porch, no explanation for why the locks were changed and nobody was in the house which was being approached by a moving van with a happy little family inside. No explanation was given, because none was needed. He knew why they left him. They had taken the liberty of reminding him every day of his existence. They had spent the last seven years trying to _‘fix’_ him. Endless hours of conversion therapy, priests, and confessionals; tying him to crosses in front of the fading light of the evening and telling him to reflect on his actions, trying to rid him of the demons that they were convinced inhabited his soul. But even after years of trying, they could never get rid of the three little boys that ran around the sinner’s head late at night. 

He was seven years old the first time they starved him while his limbs were bound to a cross. He lay there in the big open room while they chanted at him, telling the demon to go away, and no matter how much he cried, and called out for his mother, they didn’t stop until he passed out. He remembers waking up the next morning and crawling into his mother’s arms, begging for her not to let them hurt him again, and her only answer was: ‘Believe me, I don't want to have to do it either.’ As if doing that to him wasn't a voluntary decision. 

He told his soulmates about it, but it just made them sad. He hated seeing them sad, and seeing Patton cry was unbearable. He never talked about it again. 

He kept his soulmates blissfully in the dark about everything that was happening. The three boys eventually learned to stop questioning the bruises that showed up on their soulmate, and how shirts that had once fit him hung off of Virgil’s scrawny and malnourished frame. They knew they wouldn’t get answers. Virgil refused to tell them anything, not wanting to burden them with his own issues. It was partially his fault anyways. Virgil didn’t believe that his parents were justified in his actions, but if he had just stayed quiet, or chosen to believe them when they told him that there were no boys in his head, his childhood may have been a bit kinder. 

They naturally drifted apart, Virgil being constantly guarded and on edge and the other three being so painfully open and trusting with one another. It was a slow kind of drift, and no one really noticed it until Virgil no longer spent his time sitting and talking with his soulmates, preferring to either listen in silence or sit somewhere on his own. The emo teen preferred it that way, especially when he finally got kicked out. It was much easier to hide his physical state (which stayed the same from real life to dreams) when he wasn’t spending every moment around other people.

Patton, being the absolute angel that he is, would still try and include him in discussions or ask him how he was doing, but it was a rare occasion that he got more than a one word sentence or a shrug as a response. It didn’t deter the heart of their group from trying to get Virgil to open up, but everyone could tell that Patton was a bit more resigned after every failed attempt. Sometimes Virgil would give in and talk more freely about his day, but that was rare. Virgil knew Patton was fragile, and he would hate himself even more if he somehow managed to hurt the beaming ball of sunshine. Even if Virgil didn’t say it, he really appreciated the boy, more so than he would care to admit. Patton was like a lighthouse, a bright light shining out into the sea of doubt and always leading him home on the darkest of nights, and nights got pretty dark out on the streets. 

Virgil knew that the other three became increasingly concerned when barely came around the dreamscape anymore. Once he was out on his own it wasn’t often he was able to build up the courage to actually fall asleep at night, let alone show his soulmates how pathetic he looked. A layer of filth was a near constant on his skin, and his already scrawny frame had become impossibly thinner. Virgil was long past the point of caring about his appearance, but he knew that his soulmates would think differently. The few times _had_ fallen asleep, the three had immediately bombarded him with questions about the bruises, or the sickly glow that seemed to have been brought out in his already pale skin. He always blew them off, further isolating himself from the group. He could have asked for help. Could have told them everything that had happened if he really wanted to, but somethings it’s easier to believe no one cares. It was so much easier to believe that no one ever had and ever will care then fae the reality that there _are_ people who care, and they are _right in front of him_ . Because if he had to admit that, he would have to admit that he doesn’t have a good reason for not telling them. That the only reason he doesn’t tell them is because he is _scared_ of them. 

He is scared of the light and love that they endlessly give off for each other, and the warm touches they grace upon each other’s skin. He is scared of the light because he knows he will never be able to return it. He loves them with all of his heart, but he just isn’t the kind of person who _has_ that light inside to begin with. The only thing he has is that dark ocean of fear and hate for the sinner that he is. How could he burden them with carrying that? They deserved better, and he was simply making sure that he didn’t muddy their relationship with his own sin stained soul. So he watched from the sidelines, watching every happy ending and little victory unfold before him with pride. It was a sick kind of stealing, really. Soaking in a light that he will never be able to give back. A light that even if it is meant for him, he surely doesn’t deserve. 

After a year of unanswered questions and being blown off, Patton, Roman, and Logan learned to give Virgil space. They would still invite him to do group activities, or just to chat, but they would never ask about his appearance or apparent lack of energy. This became a comfortable routine for them. It may not have been the traditional soulmate relationship that they had all hoped for in the beginning, but the other three would have Virgil in any capacity the teen was comfortable with so long as they got to keep their precious storm cloud in their life. And somewhere deep inside, Virgil knew that when he needed them the most, 

They would be there.


	3. A Freeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this is not beta read in the slightest. If there are any glaring mistakes or gaps in text please let me know so I can go and fix them!  
> Chapter warnings: Violence (moderately descriptive), hypothermia, mentions of stealing, homelessness, mentions of being kicked out, mentions of abusive parents.

It was a quiet night in the city streets, calm, serene, and 20 degrees Fahrenheit. It had been about 10 months since Virgil had been kicked out, and he was beginning to regret his decision to not call the authorities and surrender himself to the foster system. He originally didn’t do it because he knew that there was a large chance that when he explained his situation they would attempt to put him back with his parents seeing as most of the foster homes were already full and his parents would deny any accusations of wrongdoing. But now, nearly a year after it all, he would almost prefer being punished to the inescapable cold that invaded his bones. He was walking around the city, ducking into shops when he could before continuing on when he was kicked out or looked at strangely. The library had long since closed, and he was now walking in the area around the town housing hoping to find a decent place to spend the night.

Sometimes, on nights like these, he was brave enough to stow away in someone’s shed or at least ‘borrow’ a tarp left out in the yard, or a picnic blanket left on the lawn. He knew it was wrong, and Patton would probably hate him for doing it, but his main goal was to avoid hypothermia and death, so he felt at least a little justified in his actions. Plus, he always made an effort to return the items when morning came unless he was sure that they wouldn’t be missed. 

However, the night didn’t seem to be working in his favor, as it was a bit past midnight and he still hadn’t found anything to provide warmth aside from his threadbare hoodie. All of his clothes aside from his hoodie and two pairs of jeans had been stolen at some point along with any of the other meager belongings he had been so  _ generously  _ allowed to keep from the house. He kept walking only on instinct, knowing that if he stopped moving he would have very low chances of surviving the night. So, with dwindling strength and hope he headed towards a well sheltered alleyway that had a good hiding space for him to settle down in. His legs felt as though they were made of lead as he sat down beside the large garbage container. He shivered as his legs came in contact with the damp and cold stone, curling into himself to try and preserve all of the body heat he could and fell into an uneasy sleep. 

****

Virgil forced his eyes open as he entered the dreamscape, curling into himself as he wished, not for the first time, that being in the dreamscape at least  _ fooled  _ him into thinking he was warm. Desperate for a distraction from the cold and ache that settled into his bones, Virgil set out to find the others. It didn’t take long for him to find his soulmates sitting in the grass of a luscious green field, golden sunlight radiating from the sky and shining down on his soulmates. He only wishes he could feel its warmth. 

“Virgil!” Patton called, waving over the hoodie clad teen.

“Decided to join us today JD-lightful?” Roman teased, patting the spot next to him on the grass. 

Virgil shuffled over to Roman and sat down next to him, shivering at the warmth that radiated from Roman’s aura. Logan, being the adorably observant nerd that he is, immediately picked up on Virgil’s discomfort. 

“Are you alright, Virgil? You seem to be shaking rather violently.” Logan inquired, praying that he wouldn’t simply be shut down as Virgil tended to do when the others asked too many questions. 

“Y-yeah,” Virgil stuttered, shivers causing his voice to shake as he spoke. He tried to keep his focus, but Roman’s warmth was just so  _ distracting.  _ “S-sorry, it’s j-just r-really c-c-cold where I a-am and P-princey f-feels like a f-fucking  _ space heater  _ t-tonight.” 

“Aww, you could have just said that I was hot,” Roman teased. “Plus, if you wanted a hug all you had to do was ask my Stormy night.”

Roman scooched over to Virgil and placed the scrawny teen in his lap. Virgil let out a startled squeak, but all protests quickly died on his tongue as he felt the warmth of Roman’s aura surround him. Virgil quickly curled into Roman’s chest, pushing himself as close to the heat source as possible. The warmth was so overwhelming, and every point of contact  _ burned  _ with heat, but Virgil couldn’t pull himself away as he felt some of the cold fleeing his form, even if just for a moment.

“Great Odin’s eyepatch, Virgil! Since when have you turned into a human ice cube!? You were always a bit cold hearted, but it feels like you were hit by Elsa’s ice powers instead of Anna!” Roman exclaimed, disbelief and shock coating his expression. 

“I d-don’t know who any of those p-people are, but whatever y-you d-do, I am n-not moving. Y-you are like a living f-furnace and it is much better t-than subzero temperatures. You h-have off-ficially s-sold your s-soul.” Virgil practically demanded, burying himself further into Roman’s warm embrace. 

“Kiddo, why are you in the cold without warmth? Is your heating system broken or something?” Patton asked softly, trying to coax an answer out of the scrawny teen. 

“Or something,” Virgil muttered in response. “Pavement doesn’t exactly have heating.” 

Virgil didn’t realize he had been thinking aloud until he heard a confused whining sound coming from Patton, and Roman’s grip around him tightened protectively. 

“Virgil, where are you staying that you would be sleeping on concrete?” Logan questioned. “The evidence we have been given so far points towards you possibly sleeping on the streets, but I would much rather have that accusation confirmed or denied before coming to a solid conclusion.” 

Virgil was silent for a moment before he felt a familiar tug pulling him back to reality. A sudden burst of pain on his side proved that this wouldn’t be a pleasant awakening. 

“Well, you are correct, Virgil admitted. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to go now and confront whoever is kicking me in the ribs. See you later.” He gave a quick two fingered salute before sinking out, leaving three concerned soulmates behind. 

***

As Virgil returned to his body he was immediately greeted by pain as he was thrown into the wall, his head banging against the brick, leaving Virgil seeing stars. 

“What the hell, dude! Ever heard of not assaulting an unconscious person?” Virgil sneered, shivering violently in the cold. “What do you want? I don’t have any food or money and I don’t have any drugs, so what are you guys looking to get out of beating me up?” He snarled, groaning as he did his best to locate his attackers in his hazy vision. 

“Hand over the hoodie,” A gruff voice demanded “Or you won’t like what’s coming for you.” 

“Could I make that an ‘I owe you’ and bring you a blanket and food by tomorrow?” Virgil bargained, knowing that he would freeze without his hoodie and hoping that he would be ablt to hold up his end of the deal. 

“Sorry, not sorry, kid, but it’s either you or my child that’s surviving the night, and I can assure you that no kin of mine will be freezing tonight.” The voice said before Virgil was grabbed by rough hands and his hoodie was ripped off of him, exposing his skin to the bitter cold. 

As hazy pain and bitter cold settled into Virgil’s limbs and shiver racked is body, Virgil let himself fall into the arms of the sandman once more. 

***

Virgil came into the dream world and quickly collapsed near where the others were sitting. They must have heard the crash because soon a quick succession of footsteps heralded three warm figures standing over him. 

“ _ Hey _ ” Virgil croaked out, curling into himself as more shivers racked his emaciated frame, which was now on view for everyone to see. He could vaguely hear the others freaking out over him, probably because of his lack of a shirt and the bruises and scars that marred his skin underneath his signature hoodie. 

“Virgil, can you hear me?” Vigil heard Logan call. He grunted in response, although the grunt turned into a desperate whine as warm hands came to rest on his chest. Virgil let out a gasp of shock as warm arms encircled him and he vaguely registered being carried somewhere. Before he could register the movements he felt himself being laid down onto something soft as heat surrounded him. 

“Virgil, Kiddo, I need you to listen  _ very  _ closely, okay?” Patton requested, placing Virgil’s head in his lap. “I need you to wake up and find somewhere safe and warm where you will be able to sleep for the night. Once you are safe we can help you find us and you can stay with us, alright? But you need to be warmed up first.” 

Virgil nodded, although he wasn’t exactly sure where he could go in the middle of the night. He could try the town houses… normally he would be too anxious to fo that, but his will to live was currently overpowering his anxiety as he pulled himself back into the physical world and stumbled to his feet. Running on pure adrenaline and willpower he makes his way over to the town owned housing. Tremors ran through Virgil as he finally made it to the housing complex. The only problem is that it was likely around 1 AM and most people wouldn’t wake up from a simple knock at the door.. As he pondered this issue he stumbled across the solution in the form of a single house with their lights on. 

Virgil hesitated at the door, wondering if he really has the courage to do this. But as the thoughts of Patton’s soft touches and warm smile; Roman’s strong embrace and boisterous voice; and Logan’s curiosity, he knew he didn’t have a choice. 

With shaking hands and uneven breaths, Virgil brought his trembling fist up to the door and knocked four times.

As he waited for a response, he prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that he wouldn’t die tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out! I actually ended up skipping ahead and writing about 4 chapters towards the end of this story, and I'm just now coming in to write these next couple chapters. I will try to get out the rest of the chapters as soon as possible, but school is kicking my butt, so please be patient! I do not plan to abandon this work, but it might take a while to finish.


	4. A House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: fainting, hypothermia, near death experiences, mentions of injuries and being severely underweight, mentions of starvation, allusions to past abuse, 
> 
> Enter the Picani's, two of my favorite supporting characters in literally any fic. Sorry for the shorter chapter, I promise longer ones will be coming soon!

It was 2 AM when a knock on the door drew Remy Picani’s attention away from the TV screen in the small flat he shared with his husband Emile. Remy sent a questioning glance to his husband, who was fast asleep on the couch beside him. The coffee addicted man knew he should probably just ignore the knocking, (seeing as it was two in the morning on a Friday night and they weren’t expecting anyone), but curiosity soon got the better of him as the knocking became more frantic. Remy stood up with an annoyed huff of air and made his way over to the door. 

Now, Remy couldn’t say exactly what he was expecting, but he could say with confidence that _this_ wasn’t on the list. In front of him stood a scrawny teen, probably no older than 16 or so, shirtless and shivering in the cold. The teen seemed dirty, hair long and unkempt as if he hadn’t had a shower and hair cut in much too long. But what was more concerning to Remy were the scars that laced the teen’s torso and neck, as well as many seemingly newly formed bruises and injuries that marred the teen’s skin. To put it bluntly, the kid looked like he’s been run over by a train twice over. But no matter the physical state, the boy’s eyes held a sort of fiery determination in them, even if it was slightly dulled by the desperation and distress obvious in the kids face. 

“ _P-please….”_

Remy’s gaze immediately snapped to the boy’s face as he heard the near silent words. Remy internally panicked as the boy swayed and stumbled forward, his breathing shallow as Remy quickly caught the boy in his arms and got him inside, scampering to close the door. 

“ _Emile! Emile, hun! I need a little help here!”_ Remy called, hoping that he was being loud enough to wake his husband. As much as Remy hated to do that to Emile, he was kind of panicking and had _absolutely no idea_ what he was doing. 

Remy heard shifting from the couch, which was followed by clumsy footsteps as Emile rounded the corner, his eyes going comically wide as the therapist took in the sight of his husband holding most of the weight of a scrawny shirtless teen. 

“Rem? What happened?” Emile asks calmly, trying to keep his voice level and calm so as not to further distress his husband. 

“I don’t know! There was a knock at the door, and so I went to see who it was, and then this kid is just _standing there in the cold in a freaking T-shirt and-”_

Remy is broken out of his rant by a gentle hand on his shoulder and a pair of warm honey eyes looking up at him. 

“Remy, take a deep breath,” Emile instructed softly, his voice warm and encouraging as Remy took in a gulp of air and slowly let it out. “There you are, now. I don’t know exactly what happened, but the kid looks a little worse for wear, and he’s probably dangerously cold. I need you to lay him down on the couch with blankets while I warm up some chicken broth on the stove to warm him up.” The man calmly instructed his soulmate, only moving when Remy gave a small nod. 

The two went their separate ways, Remy choosing to carry the boy bridal style and moving to the couch. Remy made a mental note of the fact that the teen didn’t weigh much at all, barely heavier than a small child, maybe 70 pounds at most despite the fact that he was around 5 feet tall or so. While Remy settled the boy on the couch and covered him with blankets, Emile ran into the kitchen and quickly turned on the stove, heating a pot of warm broth in a saucepan. The therapist was running over his training as an EMT in his head, trying to remember any information from the course he had taken years ago that could be relevant. _Try to get them to eat or drink something warm, hot compress over neck and chest, blankets, no heating pad or direct heat-_ Information swirled around the man’s head as he turned the stove off and transferred the warm soup broth to an insulated thermos. The man took a deep breath before moving back to the living room where he found his soulmate nervously flitting around the room, fussing over the blankets that were wrapped around the scrawny teen’s fragile frame. Setting the thermos down on the end table by the boy’s head, Emile walked over to Remy and silently wrapped his soulmate in gentle embrace, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Remy’s back.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Staring into never ending darkness, Vigil felt both heavy and weightless at the same time. His limbs felt like lead weights, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of floating on a cloud. It was an odd feeling, but Virgil decided that he didn’t mind it all too much. It was better than being so cold. He felt numb, only vaguely aware of movement from somewhere out in the abyss. It was a strange type movement, almost as if he were in a bubble, or floating inside one of those squishy stress balls. He sensed the movement, but the sensation was almost dulled, as if there were something shielding him from the outside world. He wondered for a fleeting moment if he was dead, if he had made it to the doorstep only to drop dead, or maybe the man at the door threw him to the ground and he got a concussion. _Yeah…. That sounds right._ But as Virgil tried to move his head around to see what the afterworld was like, he heard muffled voices echo through the endless dark. Slowly, the dark became less dark as small patches of fuzzy light began to appear in front of Virgil. He felt his eyelids slowly drag open as the scrawny teen was brought back to reality. The voices around him are still fuzzy as he slowly blinks, dragging his hands up to his face to try and clear the blurriness from his vision. 

Everything seems to move in slow motion as Virgil registers that there are hands on his back and sides, but before he can even react the hands are gone and he is sitting propped up on something soft. He makes a small sound of confusion as he senses something coming towards his face. The movement was slow, but Virgil flinched back on instinct, even if the reaction was delayed. Virgil repetitively blinked, trying to clear the fuzz from his head. He was rewarded a bit when his vision cleared _just enough_ to see that the thing near his face was a metal container of some sort being held out by a hand. He tried to ask what was going on, but he couldn’t seem to form words, his tongue laying like a lead weight in his mouth. He didn’t flinch back this time as the container came towards his mouth, the smell of something salty and warm peaking his interest. He stayed still as the container was brought to his mouth, letting out a small mewl as warm liquid entered his mouth and slipped down his throat, soothing the ache that was there before. 

He greedily drank up as much as the hand would let him, relishing in the first food he had had in days, but before long the cup was being pulled away. He gave a weak sound of protest before the feeling of a gentle hand running through his hair quieted any opposition he may have had. In his half drunken state, Virgil leaned into the touch. He had long since stopped trying to figure out what was going on. These were nice hands, and the nice hands were giving him food. He hoped that they weren’t actually mean hands that were just _acting_ like nice hands, he hated it when that happened. However, hand morals aside, Virgil felt his eyes drifting shut once more as another warm hand came and gently rubbed at his stomach, which felt surprisingly full for the tiny amount of warm stuff he had gotten. Virgil decided that he liked these hands as the sound of soft voices lulled him to sleep. 


	5. An Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT BETA READ! If there are any glaring mistakes in the timeline or grammar, don't be shy to let me know in the comments!  
> Chapter warnings: Panic attacks, implied/referenced child abuse, mentions of homelessness, mentions of injury (nothing graphic), scars, mentions of using shock collars as a punishment on children, past homophobia, mentions of conversion therapy, mentions of hospitals.  
> Let me know if I need to add anything to that list or the tags! Enjoy!

**Chapter 5: An Offer**

“ _Virgil!”_

Just as the soft voices of the physical plane faded out of Virgil’s ears, he was met with the frantic voice of Patton, who was running up to the scrawny teen before tackling Virgil in a hug, the other two were not far behind, although they were much gentler in their affection, being cautious of their fourth soulmate’s injuries and fragile state. 

Virgil froze in shock as he felt something wet on his shoulder, suddenly realizing that Patton was _crying._ Crying for _him._ Virgil slowly brought a shaking hand up to Patton’s back, attempting to mimic what he had seen people on the street do when their partner was upset. He didn’t understand what seemed so appealing, but the phrase is ‘don’t knock it ‘till you try it’, so he really couldn’t say anything on the matter, and it seemed to make Patton happy, so he supposed it couldn’t be too bad. Virgil cautiously brought his hands up to Patton’s back, hesitantly grabbing onto the back of his soulmate’s shirt. Patton threw himself forward, squeezing Virgil tightly, eliciting a pained gasp from Virgil when the enthusiastic boy accidentally put pressure on his bruised ribs. 

Patton, ever perceptive, immediately pulled back, his honey eyes filled with teary concern. When Patton saw the tears silently falling down Virgil’s face, he immediately broke down, launching himself into Logan’s waiting arms as Roman moved to sit in front of Virgil, opening his arms in invitation with a watery smile. Virgil just sat there in shock, unable to comprehend what was happening in front of him. It was all just so _fast,_ and he didn’t _know what was happening,_ and it was all too _quick-_

Sturdy arms wrapped around him, protecting him from the horrors of the outside world. Virgil buried his face in Roman’s pajama shirt, heedless of the tears and snot that were ruining his prince’s shirt. He sobbed without abandon, clutching onto Roman as if he were the only thing holding him together. And he was, in a strange sort of way. Through everything Virgil had been through, his soulmates stayed the only constant. Through every _inch of pain,_ and every _horrible hour of every wretched day,_ they had always been there. There had been so many times where Virgil had been so _close_ to ending it all, to angering his parents enough so that they would end up killing him, or to doing it himself. Just days ago he had been standing in a convenience store, seconds away from stealing a bottle of painkillers and making sure that he would never have to breathe again. He was _so close,_ but then he thought of his soulmates. 

He thought of Patton, who had never given up on Virgil, no matter how many times he had blown them off, or threatened them to get them to leave him alone. He thought of Roman’s warm embrace, and how he let Virgil stay beside him, despite the fact that Roman gained nothing but cold aura from the exchange. He thought of Logan, who spouted off statistics and definitions like a dictionary, his eyes lighting up like the night sky when he rambled on about something new he had learned. Virgil knew that they would blame themselves for his death, thinking themselves worthless for not being able to love him enough. They would be forced to carry the mark of a purple slash on the skin over their hearts. A constant reminder that they just _hadn’t been enough._ They wouldn’t understand that Virgil just wasn’t _capable_ of love, that he would never be able to shine as brightly as his soulmates. His story was stained with ‘lost cause’ from beginning to end, but they would refuse to believe that. 

Virgil curled further into Roman’s chest, ignoring the pain in his ribs, letting Roman’s arms protect him from his demons as he continued to let out heart wrenching sobs. 

All too soon, Virgil felt himself being pulled back into the real world. He grabbed frantically onto Roman’s shirt as he felt his form flickering. He didn’t want to go back out and face the world. _He wasn’t ready to let go._ The fact that he had just fainted on a stranger’s doorstep suddenly hit him full force. He didn’t know who would be there when he woke up. _He wanted Roman to stay._

_“NOOO!”_ Virgil let out a strangled sob as he tried to cling to the quickly dissolving fabric of Roman’s shirt, his fists holding mere air as he called out to his soulmates to no avail. 

Virgil shot up from where he was laying down, tears streaming down his cheeks as he whipped his head around, fighting the tears that blurred his vision. He violently flinched back as someone stepped towards him. 

“ _I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”_ Virgil babbled near incoherently, hiccuping sobs wracking his frame as he brought his hands up to shield his face, letting out a strangled scream as hands grabbed his wrists. He thought they were _nice_ hands, _they were supposed to be nice! “PLEASE, I”M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I’M SORRY!”_

“ _...id! He…. ud… ….mile!_ ” 

A muffled voice was barely heard over the pounding of his heart. Virgil curled further into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible, shielding his most vulnerable areas from attack. 

_“...ud...need you...liste... to my voice..,”_ A new voice filtered in through his cotton filled ears. This voice sounded calm, it sounded _safe._ Virgil _knows_ that he shouldn’t trust strangers, but he _can’t breathe._ Virgil gave a jerk of his head that could be somewhat computed as a nod.

“ _...ood, I need you to breathe...r me,”_ The voice directed, the cotton beginning to clear from Virgil’s ears as he followed the voice’s instructions. He sucked in another breath, trying to make the oxygen last before puffing it back out. Virgil subtly recognized the feeling of something being placed on his lap. 

He froze, momentarily going stock still before bringing a shaking hand to whatever he had been given. As soon as his fingers brushed the soft Velboa fur of the lump in his lap, Virgil clutched the stuffed animal closely to his chest, finding that it was pleasantly heavy in his arms. _I haven’t had a stuffed animal in years_. Virgil mused, his breathing slowly calming into semi-normal patterns as he ran his hand over the soft velvety surface of the plush. As his vision cleared, Virgil recognized the character as a small blue animal with large ears and head. Virgil thinks it might have been from some movie or something. Things were silent for a few minutes. The people around him made no movement or sound as Virgil brought himself back from the confines of his panic.

“Are you with us, bud?” A soft voice brought Virgil out of his thoughts. 

The teen nodded warily, staying circumspect as he glanced around the room and scanned the two people in front of him. The one that had been asking him to breathe had light brown hair round glasses that lay over honey colored eyes. The man wore a muted pink shirt with gray fluffy pajama pants with little cartoon characters on them. The other man, who sat slightly farther away, had caramel colored skin, black curly hair, and dark brown eyes a similar color to Virgil’s own. This man wore a simple gray sweater with a thick white band across the chest of the sweater. Virgil eyed the two men curiously. On one hand, they had been really nice so far, helping him down from his panic and getting him warm (he also notices that his stomach no longer pangs with hunger, although he cannot remember when or if they had fed him.) 

“I think that some introductions are in order,” The man with carmel colored skin said. “I’m Remy Picani, and this is my soulmate and husband Emile Picani.” Remy introduced himself and Emile, who gave a small smile and wave. 

“Virgil Peters,” Virgil introduced himself. “Um, sorry for-ya know, passing out on your doorstep, or whatever.” He mumbled out an apology.

“It’s alright, Virgil. I’m just glad that it was on our doorstep rather than outside in the cold. We were pretty close to taking you to the hospital to make sure you got proper care-”

“NO!” Virgil interrupted suddenly, immediately shrinking back into himself when he realized what he had done. “I mean- t-there’s n-no need f-for th-that.” He tried to backtrack shakily. “I-I’m fine, t-there’s no need to go t-to the h-hosp-pital.” He stammered, panic evident his his eyes,

“Deep breaths, Virgil” Emile instructed calmly. “No hospitals, we won’t take you anywhere without your permission unless it is a life or death situation.” The therapist assured him, meeting Virgil’s eyes to convey his sincerity. 

Virgil stopped shaking so violently, giving a jerky nod of his head and taking a deep breath. 

“A-alright.” Virgil breathed, letting out a shaky breath and hesitantly meeting Emile’s eyes. “N-no hospitals,” 

“No hospitals,” Emile confirmed with a nod and a sad smile. “Is there a particular reason why you don’t wanna go to the hospital?” He asked softly. “You don’t have to answer, but if we know what makes you uncomfortable about them then we can avoid possible triggers or behaviours that would make you uneasy.” He explained, trying to nudge information from the boy without causing another panic attack. 

“I-um,” Virgil stuttered, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before hesitantly answering. “T-the hospital w-would c-call my….my parents.” He mumbled, a hand subconsciously reaching up to the side of his neck, where the two identical round scars from the prongs of a shock collar still remained. He shuddered at the mere memory. Some crazy conversion guy across the ocean had decided it was a good method to use a shock collar on a ten year old. His heart had almost stopped…

Emile watched with sadness and a bit of horror as the boy’s hand went to his neck, rubbing at a particular scar that Emile had his suspicions about. 

“I’m going to guess they weren’t the nicest?” Emile said, not unkindly. He knew that sometimes it was easier to just agree rather than having to say it out loud, especially in cases of abuse, which he highly suspected was what was going on here. 

Virgil nodded hesitantly, his hand coming back down to his lap, playing with the large ears of the weighted plush. 

“Is that why you were out there, bud?” Remy asked, trying his best to follow in his soulmate’s footsteps by asking simple, non accusatory, yes or no questions that still left room for Virgil to expand if he chooses to. 

“Mhhm,” Virgil quietly hummed in agreement. “Trying to get to my soulmates.” 

“Do you know where they live?” Emile asked, a spark of hope reigniting within him, but it was quickly dimmed by the answer he received. 

“Not yet,” He admitted dejectedly. “They didn’t even know what was happening until i was forced to admit that I had been living on the streets, and I think the primary goal was to make sure I didn’t die of hypothermia before they could tell me.” He explained, exhaustion replacing the paranoia that had been there before. 

“Well,” Emile said, taking a deep breath and looking to Remy before continuing. “There are some specifics that will need to be worked out,” He prefaced. “But, I think that, if you are comfortable with it, you can stay here until you find out where your soulmates are and find a safe way to get there.” He proposed, a bit apprehensive as he waited for the answer.

Virgil stared at him in shock. 

“ _You’re okay with that?”_ He whispered in shock, his jaw hanging open and his eyes wide. “ _B-but what if I never find them, o-or what if-”_

Emile could see a spiral coming, so he did his best to cut it off promptly. 

“Like I said,” Emile reiterated. “Details can be worked out later, and I’m going to need to talk to Remy so we can make sure that we are in a financial position to support you for a couple months if needed, plus any travel costs and time. But that is a conversation that I need to have with _Remy._ That is something we can talk about together tonight or tomorrow. For now, I think your first goal should be to take a shower, and then, if you’ll allow me, I want to look over your wounds and make sure nothing is seriously injured, okay?” He explained, trying his best not to overload the poor boy. The teen was already shaken, he didn’t want to add to that any more than necessary. 

Virgil just nodded mutely, obviously still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. 

“Alright,” Emile said with a small smile, standing up and slowly offering a hand to Virgil, who hesitantly took it, keeping direct eye contact with Emile all the while. “Let’s get you cleaned up, and then you can head to bed and talk to your soulmate or soulmates,” 

Virgil’s brain froze at the fact that Emile had openly said soul _mates,_ not just soul _mate._

_Maybe, just maybe, this could work out._


	6. A Patient

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shorter chapter! They will be longer from here on out.  
> Chapter warnings: mentions of near death experiences, mentions of abusive parents and toxic homes

Virgil’s tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he tried to perfect the details of a drawing he was working on. He allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he lifted the pencil tip from the paper and leaned back to get a better look at the charcoal drawing. His smile grew a bit wider as he admired the glossy looking texture he had created on the feathers of the raven, which almost seemed to pop off of the page with realism. Carefully setting the pencil down beside him on the worn muted pink leather of the bench in the waiting room of Emile’s practice, Virgil allowed himself to simply admire his creation.

He had been staying with Emile and Remy for about a month now, sleeping in their guest bedroom as they try to figure out a way to get Virgil to his soulmates. Virgil was admittedly a bit crushed when it was revealed to him that he would have to wait a while to be able to go and meet them, but he understood why it had to be that way. 

Washington state, which was where his soulmates lived, is a 47 hour drive from where the couple lived in Maine, and he understood that they weren’t able to just drop everything and drive him up to see his soulmates. It simply wasn’t feasible. Virgil was disappointed in himself for thinking that things would magically happen in the perfect way for him in the first place. His life is far from a fairytale or a fanfiction like the ones he used to read online. This wasn’t some sappy love story that was all about true loves kiss and yadda yadda. He knew no sparks would fly when he was finally able to press his lips to Patton’s lips and kiss him senseless. There would be no riding off into the sunset on a white horse with Roman and leaving all traces of hurt behind, never to be seen again. He knew that even stargazing with Logan was a faraway wish, but he had already allowed himself to think too much about those sweet fantasies to let them go. He had hope that they would love him, but every time he thought that he would lightly pinch himself as a reminder to get his head out of the clouds. Hope has a cost, and he’s paid the toll one too many times.

Virgil was broken out of his thoughts by A light hand on his shoulders. He flinched back, his head snapping to meet Emile’s apologetic gaze. 

“Sorry, bud, but you weren’t responding. Are you okay?” Emile asks, an undercurrent of worry clear in his voice. 

“Y-yeah. Sorry about that. Just lost in thought,” Virgil apologized. “What’s up?” 

Emile’s worried face immediately shifted to one of joy as he was reminded of the topic at hand. 

“Well, Virgil. I think we may have just found your ticket to get to your soulmates.” Emile exclaimed cheerily, offering him a hand. 

Virgil froze in shock before cautiously taking Emile’s hand, searching the man’s face for any sign of lying or trickery. When he finds none, he allows a grin to spread across his face. 

“Are you serious!?” Virgil whispered in disbelief. 

“Yes in deedy! Come on! I have someone I have someone I’d like you to meet.” Emile said excitedly as he led Virgil into his office. 

  
  


As they walked into Emile’s office, the boy took a moment to take a look around. He’d been in the office a couple times since he had begun staying with the couple, but there was figurines and posters were constantly being switched out. Virgil let his eyes travel around the room, scanning the decorations before landing on a tall girl with chestnut brown hair and tanned skin. She smiled at Virgil and gestured for him to sit down in the armchair that had been moved to sit opposite of the couch. 

“Virgil! It’s nice to meet you,” The woman greeted. “My name’s Lauren, if Doc here hasn’t already told you.” She introduced herself. 

“The pleasure is mine.” Virgil responded. “Forgive me for being blunt, but I heard that you have a way to get me to my soulmates?” He moved on abruptly, only feeling slightly bad for being so straightforward. 

“Yup! It won’t be just me, and you’ll have to endure a family reunion in the middle of the trip, but I think that I have the perfect way to get you there.” She said, jumping to explain further when Virgil raised an eyebrow in questioning. “ you see, I’m going up to visit my family in Iowa in two weeks for thanksgiving, and I just  _ happen  _ to have a cousin who lives in Washington state. They were going to go with their partner and their sister, but their sister couldn’t make it this year, so they have an extra plane ticket.” She said with a conspiratory wink. 

“And  _ they’re  _ okay with this?” Virgil asked with a suspicious tone. “And  _ you  _ for the matter, are completely okay with driving a random teenager halfway across the country, letting me attend your  _ family  _ gathering, and then us an  _ extra plane ticket  _ just for the sake of being altruistic?” He deadpanned. 

“Pretty much, yeah,” She said with a shrug and a smile. “Plus, my cousin and their partner are really nice, and I doubt they would have any issue with you tagging along. Plus, I have known you for under 3 minutes and I can tell that you would get on like a house fire.” She says. 

Virgil took a deep breath, taking a second to process all this. He finally had a chance to get to his  _ soulmates _ . It’s all he’s ever wanted in life. He doesn’t remember a single moment that he hasn’t longed to be held in Roman’s strong embrace, protected by his prince, or to wake up to Patton’s dad jokes in the morning and hold hands as they walk down the street. And maybe it wasn’t his dream when he was a child, but now, the idea of laying on a blanket under the stars with Logan at his side droning on and on about the stars sounds like forbidden fruit, and he can’t help but want it. 

“You don’t need to choose right n-”

“ _ I’ll go.”  _ He said firmly, cutting off Emile, who looked surprised at the confidence in his voice. 

“Are you sure you don’t want time to think, Virgil? Even a day or so?” Emile asked cautiously. “This will be a long journey, and you will have to stay with Lauren’s family for a couple days and then flying for hours with two people that you don’t know.” The therapist explained. “I know Lauren’s family, and they are  _ amazing  _ people, but I know that you don’t always feel safe in a family unit, and thanksgiving is a family oriented and busy time. I want to make sure that you feel safe doing this before you agree.”

“Emile, you and Remy have been amazing hosts, and I cannot thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me,” Virgil prefaced, taking a deep breath before continuing. “You saved my life that night, and I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me. But I can’t stay here forever,” He admitted, lifting his gaze to look Emile in the eyes. “I can’t remember a time that I haven’t wanted to find my soulmates, that I hadn’t been dreaming about being with them and being able to simply exist within the warmth they share, and now, more than ever, there is nothing I want more than to be with them. And if someone is offering me a chance to get that, then I will gladly accept. You know and trust Lauren, and I trust your judgement,” He says, and Emile can’t help but be proud of how far the boy has come. “If I wait and think it over, I will end up talking myself out of it, and I can’t let that happen, Emile. You and Remy are the kindest people I have ever met, and I have enjoyed every second of time I have been able to spend with you, but I have to go home now.” 

_ Home  _

Virgil smiled as the words left his lips. He had never had somewhere or someone to call home before. Maybe as a child he would have considered his parents and his house a home, but the older he grew the more faded that sentiment became, but now he’s getting another chance to have a home. And he was going to take it no matter what. 

With his decision firm in his mind, he turned to Lauren and allowed her hazel eyes to meet his gaze. 

“When do we leave?” 


	7. A Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to begin the next leg of the journey, but let us never forget where we came from.
> 
> Chapter warnings: mentions of abusive families, really not anything else. It's all fluffy goodbyes.

**Chapter 7: A Farewell**

The air was crisp outside of Emile’s practice as Virgil stood with Remy as they waited for Lauren to arrive. She was coming at 10:00 AM and it was currently 9:45, so they still likely had at least 10 more minutes to wait. 

Virgil ran his fingers over the cuff of his hoodie sleeve and tried to ignore the urge to run back into Emile and Remy’s guest bedroom and hide there for the rest of his life. He wasn’t lying when he said that if he had actually contemplated the decision before agreeing he would have chickened out. He was dreading spending 5 days with Lauren’s family for thanksgiving. 

Emile had been correct in saying that he didn’t always feel safe in a family unit. He had had to fend for himself for as long as he could remember, and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared for what it was going to be like. Virgil didn’t have any friends as a child, so he didn’t really know how family dynamics worked outside of his parents, which he was well aware wasn't considered 'normal' dynamic. The only experience he had with that kind of setting was with Emile and Remy, but he was aware that he wasn’t really a part of their family. A friend maybe, but he had kind of inserted himself into their lives by force, and despite how many times the couple had told Virgil that they were glad to have met him and that he wasn’t a burden or anything of the sort on them, he knew that he was an unexpected surprise that probably put a damper on any plans they had scheduled for the month or so he had been living with them. 

The fact that he had been living with them so long was actually one of the main reasons he accepted Lauren’s offer so quickly. He really loved staying with the Picani’s, and it _definitely_ beat his year on the streets, but he didn’t want to keep intruding on their lives. He knew that they had their own life ahead of them, and he was glad that he had the privilege of being a part of it for so long, but it was time to move on in his life and let them do the same. 

Just as Virgil saw Lauren’s red Subaru pull into the parking lot, Emile came running out of the doors of his office, huffing a little, and clutching a small dark purple drawstring bag to his chest as he ran up to Virgil. 

“Wait, I just wanted to give this to you before you go,” he huffed with a smile, handing Virgil the bag. Virgil gave him a questioning glance, but Emile simply smiled and gestured to the bag. “Well, what are you waiting for? See what’s inside!” He said enthusiastically. “I think you’ll like what you find.” 

Virgil gave him one last glance before carefully taking the bag and slowly opening it. Virgil could see something blue and fluffy, as well as a small box. Lauren strode up to them as Virgil pulled the first item out of the bag. He pulled the small box out first, revealing it to be a cheap mp3 player with some songs downloaded onto it. Virgil stared in disbelief at the small item in his hands, looking up to Emile for confirmation that this truly belonged to him. 

When Virgil looked up, he was met with a soft smile from Emile, and a small nod, as if the therapist could read his mind. 

“Check what the second thing is, hun. I think that will be a fan favorite.” Remy said with a wink.

With a curious look, Virgil slowly drew the second, larger, item out of the bag. It took only a second to recognize the stuffed animal as the weighted plush of the blue alien from Lilo and Stitch that Remy had let him use the night he arrived on their doorstep. His jaw dropped as he pulled it out of the bag, holding it as if it might break despite the fact that it was almost impossible to do so. He drew his gaze up to Remy, who simply smiled back. 

“We thought you might like to keep it, and Em has plenty of spare ones,” Remy said with a small shrug. “Think of it as a nice gift to remember us by- _oof_ -” 

Remy fought to keep his balance as surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his torso. Virgil clung tightly to Remy in his most juvenile act of appreciation, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it as he felt Remy’s sturdy arms wrap gently around him and shield him from the world. 

“ _Thank you_ , _”_ Virgil whispered into his chest as the teen practically clung to Remy. 

“No problem, kid. You’re a good one,” He said fondly, ruffling Virgil’s hair before gently pulling away. Virgil reluctantly let go, and turned to face Emile. 

“Thank you as well, Emile. I cannot thank you two enough for your hospitality and everything you’ve done for me. You saved my life and helped me find a way to get to my soulmates. I don’t have any way to repay you, but I promise that someday I will make it up to you. I am eternally grateful for everything you’ve done.” Virgil thanked them. 

“Consider the favor already returned, Virgil. The pleasure has been ours. The only thing I ask is that you go find your soulmates and happiness.” Emile assured him. 

“And if you ever need us, we’re only a phone call away. I know you don’t have a phone right now, but I put our phone numbers on a little note card inside the front pocket of the bag with your clothes so you can reach out to us if you need us,” Remy added on. 

“ _Thank you.”_ Virgil whispers, trying to hold back tears. Emile opens his arms wide, and Virgil gladly falls into Emile’s embrace, enjoying the feeling of security that he can only hope to feel again soon. After a few moments, Virgil pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Thank you… for _everything_.” He thanked the couple. 

“We’re happy to help, Virgil. Now go find your dream boys,” Remy instructed, handing him the plastic bag where they had put his clothes and toothbrush. 

“I will,” He promised, smiling at the couple one last time before turning to face Lauren with a new determination in his eyes. 

“Let’s get this show on the road!” She exclaimed, offering a hand to Virgil, who took it without hesitation. “See you in a couple weeks, Doc!” She called as she led Virgil to the car. 

“See you next time, Lauren! Good luck Virgil!” Emile called, waving goodbye as the two disappeared into the car. 

Emile sighed and leaned into his soulmate’s side. 

“I hope he makes it to his soulmates in one piece,” Emile admitted quietly. “I worry about how he’ll cope with finally having good people around.” 

Remy wrapped an arm around Emile’s shoulder and pressed a reassuring kiss to his temple. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, Em. He’s come so far already, he’ll make it to the other side. I know it.” He said, feeling just as sure as he sounded. Remy might be uncertain of a lot of things, but of this he was sure: 

Virgil would be _just fine_.


	8. A Glimpse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Feeling like an outsider, mentions of homelessness, mentions of scars, minor/ healing injuries (nothing graphic), mentions of past abuse, mentions of nightmares.

**Chapter 8: A glimpse**

The ride over was uneventful to say the least. Some small talk was made, but for the most part the two were comfortable sitting in silence, Lauren driving with a smile on her face and Virgil watching as the scenery went by with his earbuds in. He was listening to one of the background tracks from some Disney movie that Emile had put on there. He didn’t think that it would be his style, but he found that he actually didn’t mind the soft notes and more ambient noises of the song. It felt almost like he was in a movie, which although slightly unsettling, also gave him a feeling that things might be alright despite his nervousness. 

They stopped for lunch at one of those rest stops that they scattered along the really long stretches or freeways, and then pretty much just drove until dinner with the exception of one or two bathroom breaks in between. Neither of them were particularly hungry when diner time came, so they just stopped at a gas station and picked up something small to eat. Lauren chose a granola bar, and Virgil, (under Lauren’s insistence that he got _something_ before they left the store), got a small fruit cup to snack on as they drove. 

It was about 8:00 in the evening when they finally arrived at their destination. Virgil studied the house with curiosity as they turned into the driveway of the suburban house. 

It was a decently sized two story house with pale gray brick walls and a slightly darker desaturated earthy gray siding and detail work. The house had a small porch made of wood with a slight reddish stain to it, a porch swing made of slightly lighter wood sitting against the wall with a few pillows sitting scattered across the surface as warm light spills form the windows and into the chilly night air. Virgil saw light clouds of smoke puffing out the chimney and listened in awe as he stepped out of the car to hear the faint sounds of laughter filling the air. He paused outside of the car and leaned on the side of the vehicle, taking a moment to simply bask in the sound. He briefly wondered if _this_ is what _home_ was supposed to sound like. Warm laughter and happiness filling the air as a feeling of hope resonates within your soul. The sounds of clinking dishes being washed in the kitchen as chattering children lay under warm blankets and the stars light up the cold night sky while winter snow approaches from the east. Virgil closes his eyes as a light breeze tickles his skin, and he feels an easy smile fall onto his face at the serenity of it all. He keeps his eyes closed as he hears Lauren lean on the car door beside him and do the same. 

“It’s pretty beautiful out here, huh?” She says softly. 

Virgil hums in agreement, not daring to open his eyes in fear of breaking the mood of the moment. 

“It’s kind of nice to hear laughter again,” He replies, his voice equally as soft. “It’s a little bit terrifying to be here, and even scarier that you are all so perfect and inviting, so much so that you are willing to let a complete stranger share thanksgiving with you. It’s just _different,_ I suppose.” He admits quietly. “I’m not the perfect person, I’m far from it. I’m a street rat covered in scars who will lash out without warning and doesn’t know how to trust, but…” Virgil pauses, trying to find the right words to say. “But seeing this, it makes me want to try. To try and learn how to trust, and how to laugh without abandon, how to _live,_ I guess. There’s an entire _world_ that I haven’t known until now, and I guess I just kind of feel like a bit of an outsider sometimes.” 

Virgil hears Lauren snort softly before putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing him to open his eyes and look towards her. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, kid. This family is a bunch of jigsaw puzzle pieces from different sets that somehow manage to fit together into a work of weird Picasso esc. art. Not everyone understands it, but they don’t need to. We’ve come from all over, but we somehow just _fit.”_ She says, looking up to the stars in the sky with a wistful smile. “We’re all from the lost and found here, I think you’ll feel right at home. And if you don’t, then that’s okay too. Not every family is for everyone, and we’re here to help you get to yours.” She assured him, turning to him with a soft look in her eyes. “Now, come on. Let’s head inside and see the rest of the family.” 

Lauren held out her hand in offering, and Virgil gladly accepted, placing his hand in hers as they walked up to the porch and Lauren knocked on the door. The knocks were quickly met by an increase in excited chattering and a rush of tiny footsteps racing up to the door. Soon enough, the door was whipped open by an excited 7-year-old who immediately flew into Lauren’s arms. 

“Auntie Lauren!” The child exclaimed in excitement as Lauren caught the child and lifted the small girl off of the ground. The girl giggled as Lauren spun her around in a small circle before placing the child down and kneeling in front of her. 

“Hey, Bri! How’s my favorite little cousin doing?” Lauren asked, ruffling the little girl’s hair before picking her back up and letting her ride on her shoulders as they walked into the house. 

“I’m good!” She chirped, “Did you hear that Ami said we might be getting a puppy for Christmas!?” She exclaimed excitedly as Virgil shut the door behind them and took off his shoes by the door after Lauren did the same. 

“No way!” The elder one gasped in faux surprise as the little girl went on to chatter endlessly about puppies and other pets. 

Virgil awkwardly trailed the two, feeling acutely out of place in the constant chatter of the house. He clutched the drawstring bag to his chest and let his bag of clothes hand off of his left arm as he traveled behind the two girls. 

Soon after they entered the house they came to a stop in what Virgil assumed to be the combined kitchen and living room area. The two areas were vaguely separated by a wall with a large open window in it. The sounds of pots and pans got louder as they approached, arriving just in time to see an older woman dry and put away the last of what Virgil’s guessed were dishes from dinner. 

“Mom!” Lauren called in greeting, waving over the older woman who was just putting away the tea towel she had been using to dry the dishes. 

“Lauren! It’s so good to see you!” She said as she walked over and gave her daughter a hug before noticing Virgil. “And who is this?” She asks with a warm, albeit slightly confused smile. 

“Mom, this is Virgil, the boy I told you about who will be staying with us for thanksgiving?” Lauren introduced him. Virgil waved awkwardly, putting a small smile on his face to cover up the brunt of the nervousness he felt. 

“H-hi,” He greeted awkwardly, holding out a hesitant hand in greeting. “It’s, uh- it’s nice to meet you, Ma’am.” 

The woman looked over him with a critical eye before sticking her own hand out and meeting him in a firm handshake before unexpectedly pulling him into a hug. A spike of panic ran through him as he was pulled forward into a too tight hug that irritated his still healing ribs and bruises. He hissed in pain and flinched back, trying to free himself in a panic. Quickly sensing the boy’s fear, Lauren’s mother pulled back with worry in her eyes as Virgil scrambled back a few steps, rushing to pick up the drawstring bag that had fallen to the floor and clutching it tightly to his chest, trying to tame his breathing back into a reasonable pattern. He took a couple breaths before daring to look up and meet the woman’s concerned gaze. 

“S-sorry,” He apologized, still tense as a bowstring. “I-um, I didn’t mean to freak out, sorry Ma’am.” He apologized. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for, dear. I understand that not everyone is okay with spontaneous hugging. Do you want me to give you a warning before I hug you next time?” She offered softly, careful to bring her energy levels down for the anxious boy. 

Virgil let out a small sigh of relief at the suggestion, allowing a little bit of tension to fall from his shoulders. 

‘If it’s not too much trouble, that would be amazing, thank you so much Ma’am.” Virgil thanked her. 

“You’re welcome son, it’s no trouble,” She reassured him. “And there’s no need to be so formal, you can call me Margret or Mrs. S.” 

“Of course, thank you, Mrs. S” He thanked the woman once more, standing up a bit straighter and letting a bit more of the tensions bleed from his shoulders, although he was still visibly tense. 

“Do you mind if I show Virgil to his room, Mom?” Lauren asked.

“Sure thing, Ren. He can sleep with Sabrina in the room with the double beds where Elliot normally stays,” She offered. 

“Could Elliot not make it this year?” Lauren asked, concern and a bit of disappointment in her voice. 

“Sadly not. Came down with a bad case of the flu right before they had to leave, so they didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick.” She explained. “But at least it means we already have another bed prepared!” Margaret said optimistically. 

“I guess that’s true, come on Virge, I’ll show you too your room.” Lauren offered, adjusting the little girl (Sabrina, Virgil assumed.) on her shoulders before moving through the kitchen and going up the stairs. 

Virgil kept close behind and soon enough they walked into a door towards the end of the hallway that opened into a small bedroom with two twin beds situated on either wall of the bedroom Light blue sheets on one of the beds, which Sabrina immediately scrambled onto when Lauren let her down, and gray sheets on the other one, which Virgil assumed would be his bed for the duration of his stay. 

“So, this is where you will be staying while you’re here,” Lauren explained. “My room is right next to yours, so if you ever need anything let me know, and if you need to switch rooms for any reason just let me know and we can trade. And the Bathroom is across the hallway and down a few doors to the right.” She explained. 

“Alright,” Virgil said in affirmation. 

“Cool, you got any questions?” She asked. 

“Nope, I think I’m all good.” Virgil confirmed after a moment of thought. 

“Awesomesauce, I think the rest of us are going to watch a movie downstairs, they will probably be cartoons for a while until this one is tired, and then we might play something scarier afterwards if that’s more up your alley,” She offered. “Or you can just stay up here and chill, no pressure or shame either way.” She said with a shrug. 

“I think that I’ll just stay up here if that’s alright with you, I’ll probably just go to bed soon,” He said. And although he would admit that he half said that just to get some alone time, he was also starting to feel the exhaustion creeping up on him. 

“Sounds good. ‘Night, Virge.” She called as she walked out of the room with Sabrina in tow. 

Virgil sighed as he carefully sat down on the bed and placed his bag of clothes by the side of the bed, taking a moment to change into his pajamas before taking out his Stitch plush and curling up under the covers. He would admit that he was a bit scared to go to sleep right now, because Roman, Pat, and Logan had warned him the night prior that the three were going to have a sleepover, which meant that none of them would go to sleep until early the next morning if they slept at all. 

The whole purpose of soul dreaming (as the professionals called it) is that the resting souls of you and your soulmates reach out to each other and connect to form a dreamscape. Therefore, when only one of you is asleep, your souls can’t reach out to form that connection, allowing your brain to create natural dream cycles until the souls have the chance to connect. 

This wouldn’t be a problem, but the thing is that when Virgil _does_ dream naturally, it is almost always painful memories and horrifying nightmares that always seem to play into his deepest fears. He’s used to it, since sleepovers were a pretty regular occurrence for the three soulmates. (A social life? Who’s she? Never heard of her,) But that didn’t make them any less sucky to deal with. Maybe he’d catch a break and at some point they would decide that sleeping was actually important and they’d come rescue him from the confines of his mind. 

Despite his nervousness and the impending doom of nightmares, Virgil felt his eyes slip closed and prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that his mind would be kind, if not for his sake, then for Sabrina’s. 

He should have known better to even allow himself to even begin to hope. 


	9. A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: PTSD, whipping, abuse, graphic violence, nightmares, gaslighting, panic attacks, mentions of discrimination and homophobia, slurs (used unintentionally), food/discussion of eating habits, disordered eating (as a result of trauma and starvation. Virgil can't stomach large meals. These eating habits are mainly due to medical reasons rather than a mental state, but it is in part due to him not thinking he deserves it.)
> 
> I understand that the topic of disordered eating might be sensitive to many viewers, so I have marked off this section and will put a brief overview of the section in the end notes. There is no shame in skipping it if reading this part will cause you distress or harm, take care of yourselves and don't put yourself in harms way.
> 
> ~~~  
> Marked off section looks like this  
> ~~~
> 
> Also, if you are dealing with an eating disorder of any kind, PLEASE don't suffer alone. Reach out for help because you deserve to be okay and there will always be someone out there who wants you around and is wants to help you, even if you haven't met them yet. Take care of yourselves and know that you are never truly alone. <3

_“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!”_

_A strangled scream ripped through the air as Virgil felt the thin leather cord connect with his back, making a sickening sound as the whip tore deep into his skin. Virgil bit his lip to try and muffle his screams, knowing that making noise would only exacerbate the punishment. A whimper escapes him as the whip is brought down against his back once more and the cord pulls open wounds that were just nearly closed up and undoing any healing that had been done. After an unknown amount of time, Virgil vaguely heard the whip being thrown to the floor as angry footsteps stomped towards his vulnerable form that lay sprawled across the floor, rendered incapable of movement._

_Virgil felt his chin being lifted off of the ground to meet the cold gaze of his mother’s hazel green eyes. The all too familiar faux concern and empathy radiating off of her being in waves._

_“Oh, baby,” She crooned, running a hand through Virgil’s hair, grimacing slightly as it came back sticky and stained with a dark red substance. “You know how much I hate having to do this, why can't you just be_ **_good?_ ** _”_

_Her mocking voice echoed in Virgil’s ears as he saw something sharp and metallic in his mother’s hands. His drooping eyes shot open as he registered the blade’s approaching presence._

_“Nonononono,” He whimpered as the metal slowly came closer to his face. He felt a searing pain as the sharp tip made contact with his already bruised skin. Virgil's heartbeat thundered in his ears as time came to a stilled._

**_“STOP!!!”_ **

Virgil shot awake with a cry on his lips, slapping a shaking hand over his mouth to silence his cries. Erratic breaths wracked his chest as he gasped for air, choking on silent sobs as hot tears streamed down his face. He frantically scrambled out of the blankets and sat against the headboard, trying to school his breathing into a normal pattern, but _he could still see her and shewascoming-why can’t hejust_ **_breathe!?-_ **

Virgil was shocked out of his head as something heavy was placed on his lap. He immediately clung onto the item, holding onto the weight as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. Slowly, as his breathing began to calm and his vision cleared, Virgil looked down to his lap to see the weighted plush. He ran his fingers through it’s fur to help ground himself, continuing the repetitive motion when suddenly he felt a tiny hand on his. 

Virgil startled, jumping back slightly and accidentally banging his head against the wall. Holding in a pained hiss, he looked down to see Sabrina holding a hesitant hand over his own. He blinked at her owlishly, his eyes wide with confusion as she gently lowered her hand until it was on top of his. 

“What’s up, kid?” He rasped, his voice hoarse from holding in his cries as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

Instead of a response, the sleepy girl silently crawled into his lap and tried to wrap her arms around his torso. 

“W-what are you doing?” He asked incredulously, bringing a hand to hover awkwardly over her back as she leaned against his chest. 

“ _Cuddles chas 'way the badreams_ ” She slurred sleepily, making herself comfortable on Virgil’s lap. 

“I-um, I’m all good,” He said, although he lacked any of the confidence he needed to back up his claim. “Y-you can go back to bed now,” He tried to persuade her. 

He looked down to see that his instructions may have been taken a _bit_ to literally, as the girl was already fast asleep on his lap. Virgil sighed as he resigned himself to his fate and leaned back against the wall, pulling the covers up to cover the young girl, closing his eyes, and hoping that his soulmates had decided to go to bed. He sat there for what felt like a solid half hour (although it was probably more like 5 minutes) but he just couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep. No matter how much his brain begged for sleep. Images still played behind his eyelids of the many unpleasant possibilities for dreams he could have if his soulmates _didn’t_ go to bed, and he eventually resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep. 

Grumbling a few quiet choice words for the universe, he carefully twisted around (being cautious to not disturb Sabrina, who was still asleep on his chest), and grabbed his mp3 player from its place on the nightstand. It displayed the time, which Virgil found to be 2:00 AM. He tried to make one last attempt at sleep and slipped in his earbuds and played some of that calming background music that he listened to on the ride there. 

As he lay back against the wall, he realized that the weight of the little girl against his chest wasn’t all that unpleasant. (not that he’d ever admit that.) Despite his earlier doubts, Virgil found himself fighting to keep his eyes open as he stifled a yawn, and he soon allowed himself to succumb to sleep once more. 

\-------

_*click* *Flash*_

Virgil groaned as something bright flashed to the side of him. He groggily brings his hand up to his face to cover his eyes when it is intercepted by something grabbing onto it. Virgil’s eyes shoot open as he remembers last night, and looks down to confirm his suspicions. While undeniably cute, the scene before him proves that the child did indeed randomly come up to him and start cuddling him. That very same little girl was currently hugging his arm across her chest like a seatbelt, and Virgil looked around the room to find Lauren quietly snickering in the doorway, her phone raised suspiciously as she took another picture. 

“ _What do you think you’re doing?”_ he whispered accusingly as the woman failed to hold in a small laugh. 

“I think the better question is what are _you doing?_ ” She asked through a playful smirk. “It’s your first night here and you’ve already gotten Bri cuddles, you must be a special dude.” She teased, laughing as Virgil’s face went bright red as the teen sputtered in indignation. 

“I didn’t - this was not my choosing! S-she just literally came up to me in-in the middle of the night a-and laid down with me! _Code red Lauren! I’m not a responsible parent_!” He whisper shouted across the room. 

Lauren unceremoniously burst into laughter, putting a hand over her mouth to try and stifle the found. Virgil’s face was beet red as another person (presumably a cousin or sibling) walked by the doorway, pausing beside Lauren and leaning against the doorframe. They gave a snort of amusement when they saw Virgil’s predicament. 

“You alright there, kid?” They asked, amusement shining in their eyes and a small smirk playing at their lips. 

“Remind me how I walked into a house with a she-demon and her little imp?” He asked, gesturing at Lauren and Sabrina. The person just snickered and ran a hand through their short pastel pink and blue hair. 

“I ask myself that every day,” They said with a shrug as they walked up to Virgil and carefully lifted the girl out of Virgil’s lap and extracted the stuffed animal from her grip, placing it back on the bed beside Virgil, who used his new found freedom to sit up completely. 

“Thanks,” He thanked the person before sitting on the edge of the bed and turning to Lauren. “Now, was there a reason you came to the room? Or was this just a ‘I happened to catch Virgil at the worst possible time and get blackmail’ situation.” He asked. 

“Honestly, both,” Lauren said with a snort. “However, if you must know, I was sent up here to get you two for breakfast, and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get such an adorable picture. I think that Picani would just _love_ to see it.” She said with a malicious look in her eye. 

“ _Don't. you. Dare.”_ He hissed, watching in horror as Lauren held out her phone screen for Virgil to see that the message was already sent. “You’re dead to me, Lauren.” He deadpanned. 

“Fun! Now let’s go get breakfast. I, for one, am starving.” She announced before sauntering out of the room. 

Virgil sighed dramatically and The other person chuckled at the pair's dramatics. They shifted Sabrina in their arms and then offered a hand to Virgil. 

“So I’m guessing you’re the kid who’s on his way up to Washington?” They asked as Virgil took their hand and stood up, dropping their hand once he was steady on his feet. 

“Yup, that’s me,” He confirmed.

“Cool, I’m Talyn. They/them pronouns.” Talyn introduced themselves. 

“Virgil, um, he/him,” Virgil returned the greeting. 

“Nice to meet you, Virgil,” Talyn said as the trio approached the kitchen. 

“Nice to meet you too, I guess.” Virgil shrugged. 

When Virgil entered the kitchen, he saw Mrs. S flipping pancakes on the griddle while Lauren was sitting at the table with 4 other people at the table. Talyn immediately walked over to one of them who was sitting beside Lauren. The person had an orange beanie that covered their hair on and was wearing a red sweater and grey sweatpants. Lauren was talking to a group of three people on the other side of the table who Virgil couldn’t see the faces of. As soon as Lauren caught his eye, the woman beckoned him over with a smile and a wave. 

“Hey, Virgil! Come on over here, there’s some people I’d like you to meet!” She said, calling him over. Virgil shuffled his way over, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he moved to sit down in the chair on the other side of Lauren. “Alright, attention one and all!” She said, using a spoon to tap her ceramic mug and get everyone’s attention. Once everyone had turned towards her, she began the introduction. 

“Everyone, this is Virgil, and he’ll be staying with us this thanksgiving before catching a ride with Talyn and Joan to Washington.” She briefly explained. “Virgil, this is Joan, Talyn’s partner,” She introduced, gesturing to the Person with the orange beanie. “This is Oscar and Milo,” Lauren paused to gesture to two similar looking men, both had pale skin and freckles, although one had mousy brown hair, blue eyes, and a stubbly chin while the other was clean shaven with wheat colored hair and yellowish green eyes. They both waved at Virgil with cheerful smiles. “And lastly, this is Chandler, the proud parent of little Sabrina over here!” She said, pulling the half asleep girl from Talyn’s arms and into Chandler’s. 

“Nice to meet you, Virgil.” They greeted, cradling their daughter in their arms. 

“Nice to meet you too,” Virgil responded. 

~~~~~~~~~

The table resumed chattering amongst themselves as Virgil kept his head down and let his thoughts wander as he waited for something to happen. Soon enough, that something happened as Virgil was broken out of his thoughts when a plate piled high with pancakes, eggs and Bacon was placed in front of him. Virgil had to stop himself from gawking at the amount of food that was piled onto everyone’s plates. He felt vaguely sick at the idea of eating it all. 

When Virgil first came off of the streets, it was no wonder he was bone thin. Not only had he not had consistent access to food in the year or so that he had been on his own, but even as a child there were many periods of starvation and general restricted food intake. Remy and Emile were actually very close to taking him to the hospital because he was so dangerously thin, but they decided against it in the end because Virgil begged them not to. In the first week of staying with them, Virgil found it extremely hard to stomach more than one meal a day, and so the couple began to remedy that by having him eat a couple smaller meals throughout the day, gradually increasing the sizes of the meals and lowering the frequency to shift his eating habits to somewhat resemble the usual ‘breakfast, lunch, dinner’ scheme. It definitely did a lot of good, and Virgil was actually beginning to gain a bit of weight back, and he was able to eat much more than he was originally, but there was only so much progress that could be made in a month. Plus, Virgil wasn't exactly following the meal plan that had been set out for him in the beginning. He wasn't trying to disrespect Emile and Remy, but he just couldn't bring himself to allow himself to eat so much in a day. It wasn't that he didn't think he _deserved_ the food, per say, although that did play a part in it, (Old habits die hard.). No, his problem with eating is that he didn't want to get used to something he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep. Food had never been a consistent thing in his life, and even though Emile and Remy were being nice _now_ there was no guarantee that they wouldn't change in the future. And even if _they_ stated nice, who's to say that his soulmates and their families wouldn't deny him food. They seemed like very nice people, but Virgil had a track record of ruining even the nicest of people. That's what everyone always told him anyways. 

As it currently stands, Virgil can stomach two or three small meals a day, but if he goes too much over that he will just end up making himself sick. So when Virgil looked down to see a very large breakfast in front of him, he was understandably a bit scared. He knew that he couldn’t eat all of it, but he was really scared of what would happen if he had leftovers or refused to eat part of it. Would they take it as an insult? Would they _force_ him to eat it? _Would they call him an ungrateful brat and beat him and-_

”Virgil?”

Virgil startled out of his thoughts, by someone lightly knocking his knee with theirs. The voice was quiet, obviously meant for his ears only, intentionally not interrupting the flow of conversation around them. Virgil snapped his gaze up to see Chandler giving him a concerned look as they placed a now fully awake Sabrina on the chair next to him. 

“You zoned out there, bud. You alright?” They asked quietly. 

“Y-yeah, I’m all good.” Virgil responded with a shrug, although his voice was a bit shaky and his eyes were still wide with fear. Chandler gave him a knowing look, that one that says ‘I know you’re lying and I wish you wouldn’t.’ 

It was the same kind of look his father would give him when he lied about his soulmates or anything else, but it was different, _softer_ somehow. But, however soft, Virgil was never able to keep quiet when someone was looking at him like that. 

“Fine,” He huffed. “It’s just- it’s , It’s-it’s um- the food,” He admitted, slumping slightly as the words left his mouth, shame burning on his cheeks. 

“Would you rather eat something else?” They offered. “We have fruit if you would rather have that.” 

Their voice didn’t sound hostile, but Virgil couldn’t help but curl into himself as they talked. He didn’t deserve the kindness that he was being given. 

“N-no. It’s not t-the food itself. I just don’t think I c-can eat it all, and I don’t w-want to seem rude.” He admitted shamefully, tugging at the strings of his hoodie to get rid of some of the nervous energy. He glanced up to see Chandler giving him a kind smile, and slowed his nervous fidgeting.

“That’s alright, Virgil. You only have to eat as much as you’re comfortable eating,” They reassured him with a kind smile. “Don’t go making yourself sick or anything. I think that Mom was just worried about your weight and her way of trying to help was by piling up your plate without thinking that you might not be able to eat large meals just yet. She won’t judge you if you can’t eat it all. Just eat what you want and we can put the rest in the fridge to eat another time, alright?” They explained, placing a comforting hand on top of Virgil’s shaking one across the table. 

Virgil could only nod in agreement, taking in a measured breath and slowly letting it out as Emile had taught him. 

“T-thanks.” Virgil said quietly as he slipped his hand from Chandler’s gentle grasp and began slowly picking at the food on his plate. 

He managed to eat about one pancake, a couple bites of his eggs, and one piece of bacon before he had to tap out, his stomach twisting into knots at the idea of eating any more food. Overall, he had eaten about a quarter of the food that he had been served, but after another reassuring smile from Chandler, he put his fork down and sat quietly as everyone else talked amongst themselves. 

~~~~~

Virgil watched in amusement as Sabrina excitedly retold a story that her soulmate had helped her come up with. It reminded him of Roman’s stories. The ones that had perfect disney endings where the damsel in distress was always saved. Virgil snorted in amusement as The little girl nearly fell off of the chair when she made a grand sweeping gesture. 

“She really loves her soulmate, huh?” Virgil comments idly, deciding to try his luck at making conversation. Chandler turns to him with a grin. 

“Yeah, her and Ruben are like two peas in a pod,” They explained. “She’s always talking about him and all the stories they come up with together.” 

Virgil hummed in understanding. He snickered slightly as he realized how close Roman and Ruben’s names were. 

“They sound like a formidable duo,” He says with a smirk. 

“They sure are,” Chandler agrees with a laugh. “How about you? Soulmate, or soulmates? Or are you a monotonous soul?” They ask.

Virgil pauses for a moment, shocked at the fact that they openly asked if he had _multiple_ soulmates and how it didn’t seem like it was something strange or foreign to them. 

“I-um. I have three,” He says quickly, spitting out information he had been taught to keep close to his chest. “We-um, we get along pretty well.” He stuttered out. “We-uh, we’ve had our rough patches, mostly caused by me, admittedly, but they never gave up on me and we got through them. Those three boys wouldn’t let go of me if I tried, and _I tried_.” He admitted, feeling a bit lighter as he finally told someone the things he had been bottling up for years. He was about to continue when he was interrupted by Sabrina, who suddenly turned to him with confusion written all over her face. 

“Wait, if you have soulmates then how did you have a nightmare?” She blurted out, and Virgil tensed up at the mention of what had happened. He ignored the concerned glance from Chandler, who was the only one currently paying the conversation any mind. 

“Well, if you’re asleep when your soulmate isn’t, then you dream just like any soulless would.” Virgil explained, immediately picking up when Chandler winced as he said ‘soulless’ before remembering that the term came from his hometown, meaning that it was likely a despicable slur. “Agh, I’m so sorry, Chandler. That’s probably a slur, isn’t it. I didn’t mean it that way, what’s the proper term?” He asked, trying to right his wrongdoing. 

“Yeah, you _might_ not want to use that one, bud. Most people would _not_ react very kindly to that one. The more proper term would be monosoul, or single soul. It depends on the person, but those are definitely much better to use than soulless.” They explained.

“Noted, sorry about that. I grew up in a very… _closed minded_ … community, so unless they were talking about someone having a single soulmate that was of the opposite gender, you were likely only going to hear slurs. And the crew I was living around after I left used slurs for _everything_ . Needless to say I have _a lot_ of learning to do.” He admitted. Virgil watched in apprehension as Chandler seemed to put the pieces together in their mind and their gaze flooded with sympathy.

“I’m going to guess that you weren’t an exception from that, huh _?_ ” They asked, and their eyes were so understanding that Virgil had to hold back tears as he nodded, his face burning with shame. 

“Y-yeah. They- uh, they had some… not so nice… things to say about me,” He said, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets to hide how they were shaking. “B-but I got away from them, and I have no intentions of going back there.” He cleared up, relaxing a bit as the tiniest but of tension released from Chandler’s shoulders. 

“Is that why you had a nightmare? Because you were afraid that they were coming to get you?” Sabrina asked, her calmer tone catching the attention of everyone at the table. Virgil immediately tensed up and shrunk into himself as all of the attention was put onto him and his quarter finished plate of food that he had been ignoring. 

“W-what do you mean, Bri? Nightmares don’t have a reason, they just show up because that’s what they do.” He asked quickly, frantically trying to get the attention off of himself for a moment. 

“Well, yeah, but that wasn’t a normal nightmare!” She argued. “That was like the ones that uncle El had after the bad man came and tried to take him back! It was just like those! You didn’t see me or hear me until you stopped breathing funny!” She explained, and if people weren’t paying attention to him before, their eyes were _definitely_ on him now. Virgil’s hackles rose in defense, his shoulders practically shooting up to his ears as his instincts told him to _run. Defend. STAY ALIVE._

“Well, I-uh- I don’t know what happened t-to your U-uncle, or whoever, but that’s what happens w-whenever I don’t meet with my soulmates. I-it’s just a fact. That’s what h-happens. Th-there’s no need to get a-angry about it. Plus, I-I know they’re not coming b-back. T-they wouldn’t bother doing th-that. Th-they were the o-ones who l-left first.” He stuttered. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest as the food begins to sour in his stomach. Virgil is immensely grateful when Chandler seems to pick up on Virgil’s mounting distress and quickly intervenes. 

“Sabrina, I know that you mean well, but not everyone is okay with talking about bad things that have happened to them. Try not to go asking about people’s past, especially if you know that there was someone who hurt them really badly, okay?” They gently corrected, giving her a small squeeze on the shoulder as her face suddenly turned guilty and she nodded. “Good. Now, can you apologize to Virgil?” they ask. 

“I’m sorry, Virgil,” Sabrina apologizes. “I shouldn’t have been so nosy.” 

“I-it’s alright. I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” He accepted the apology, taking a few deep breaths to get his pulse to return to a slightly more normal pace than it’s jackrabbit speed. 

Chandler slowly started back up conversation with everyone, probably intentionally to take the attention off of Virgil, which he appreciated a lot. Virgil sat quietly for the rest of the meal, mostly just staring into space. He watched as happy conversation resumed, and was once again reminded of how much of an _outsider_ he truly was in this family. He didn’t _know how_ to be happy and cheerful. He didn’t know how to carry a conversation without freaking out, or tripping up and saying something wrong. He was starting to get a bit tired of how he seemed to have the innate ability to taint and ruin everything that he touches. He can only hope that he doesn’t end up doing the same to his soulmates, because despite everything that just happened there is a warm feeling he gets from simply sitting at a table with people who care about him, and if this is the feeling of _family?_

_He might just want it to stay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~SUMMARY OF MARKED OFF SECTION~  
> Virgil can't stomach large meals because his parents had been restrictive of his food intake as a child and he lacked consistent access to food whilst on the streets. Remy and Emile had begun to remedy that, but could only make so much progress in the time they had with him. Virgil still can't handle large meals and fears that he is being disrespectful by not eating it all. Chandler notices his nervous behavior and asks him if there's something wrong. Virgil explains that he didn't think that he could eat it all and Chandler assures him that it's okay and to eat what he can. Virgil thanks them and eats as much of the meal as he could, which only ends up being a quarter, but he is happy with that as it is still progress made.


	10. A Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the angst! This one is a pretty heavy chapter, and we get another look into Virgil's past treatment. Virgil is not having a good time in this chapter, so make sure to read the chapter warnings if any of the content in the tags might cause you unnecessary stress or cold possibly hurt you. Enjoy! Also, we're getting closer and closer to the end! Updates might be a little sparser from here on out because I'm reaching the end of my prewritten chapters, but I will do my best to keep updating semi-consistently. Enjoy! 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Church meetings, panic attacks, difficulty breathing, flashback, past exorcism, past abuse, victim blaming, mentions of starvation as punishment, mentions of scars, past homophobia, emotional shutdown, if there's anything else I should tag, let me know!

**Chapter 10: A Church**

Virgil felt his chest tighten as he stood outside of a church that looked eerily similar to the one from his childhood. He went to shove his shaking hands into his hoodie pockets before remembering that he couldn’t. He was wearing a borrowed dress shirt from Milo that Mrs. S had insisted he wear to the event. Lauren and Joan had tried to get Lauren’s Mom off of the teen’s back about it, but he waved them off and accepted the offer. He regretted that decision now that he was standing in a crowd of people so similar to those who had hurt him for years. It was true that there were some differences. This church had a pride flag hung up outside, and the families here seemed much nicer than the ones of his old town had been. Plus, Chandler was right beside him and _they_ were fine with the idea of multiple soulmates and probably wouldn’t let anyone hurt Virgil, but he couldn’t seem to shake the tightness that clenched his chest as he walked up the stairs to the entrance.

Apparently it was a yearly tradition to go to the local church’s thanksgiving ceremony, and Virgil had been dragged along as well. It wasn’t like he’d put up a fight or anything, being too nervous to tell them about his past, but he was starting to really regret that decision as he put the first foot through the threshold of the doorway and into the church.

Virgil curled further into himself as he walked through the doors. 

_Keep your back straight young man_

A chilling voice whispered in his ear, the ghostly whisper sending shivers down his spine as he straightened his posture, keeping his back straight and his head forward as he tried to blend in with the crowd, fighting every instinct that told him to run as far as he could and never look back. Virgil did a full body flinch as a shoulder accidentally brushed him in passing. 

_Don’t flinch you worthless rat, you act as if you just watched them murder a man, show more respect for your elders!_

The voice hissed in his ear, drowning out the other voices echoing through the large hall as the group found their seats. Virgil waited for everyone else to file into the row before taking the aisle seat. Virgil was thankful that they were in the back rows so that even if he messed up it wouldn’t be visible to 90 percent of the people here. Virgil was too busy trying to keep himself calm to notice the worried glances Joan, Talyn, and Lauren shared in between themselves. Virgil was already trembling by the time the ceremony started and the priest began to speak. 

“ _Ladies, gentlemen, and those in between, welcome to our thanks…..”_

Virgil’s hearing cut out as the sermon’s voice was replaced by that of a cruel minister that Virgil was all too familiar with. His throat closed up as the voice of an old man with white hair and cruel eyes took the sermon’s place. 

_Virgil trembled as his eyes met the cold merciless eyes of Pastor Andrews._

_“Welcome ,all, to this special ceremony,” He announced to the small group of higher ups in the church with a predatory smile, his eyes glinting with a maniacal malice as he circled around Virgil like a hunter would its prey._

_“Today we are gathered here to rid this child of the demons that haunt it in the name of our holy savior and lord.” He informed them, although the smiles on their faces told Virgil that they already knew what was happening._

_The child tried to tug at the restraints that held him to the wooden cross. He was_ **_tired,_ ** _and_ **_hungry._ ** _and everything_ **_hurt_ ** _and he just wanted to go home and snuggle up with his momma. He hated it when momma sent him with the mean people from church. They tie him up and don’t let him eat anything but yucky water for a day before they chant around him. It’s really scary! And this time his momma isn't even here!_

_He shrinks into himself as they start yelling at him to let go of the child that he’s holding captive. He can’t! He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong! Why are they yelling at him! He just wants to go_ **_home!-_ **

**_“...s..it...Vir...l..”_ **

_A whimper drags its way from Virgil’s throat as he vaguely hears someone calling his name. Why are they calling his name? They've never called him by his name before. They always call him sinner, or fag, or demon. So why are they calling his name? Plus, why would they ask him to sit? Last time he tried to move from his position laying down they hit him!_

**_“..Virgi..!”_ **

_He hears the voice call again, but it’s slightly clearer this time. He turns his head around in confusion, trying to figure out who the voice is coming from. His vision blurs and he blinks his eyes to try and clear the fogginess from his view._

**_“Virgil!”_ **

Virgil’s eyes snap open, and he inhales sharply as he sees Joan kneeling in front of him. Virgil recoils, trying to breathe, but feeling his chest constrict and make it increasingly hard for oxygen to pass as his heart pounds in his ears. Voices shout chaos in his head, but through the anarchy and discord, one voice rings clear above the rest.

**_Run_ **

Virgil leaps out of the chair like a startled cat and scrambles out of the building, sprinting on shaky legs and bursting through the church doors, ignoring the people in the hallway who tried to stop him. 

Someone tries to grab his arm and he flinches back violently, a garbled screech leaving his throat as he clutches his arm to his chest as if it had been burnt and continued to run until he made it outside. Once out of the building, Virgil whipped his head around, frantically searching for somewhere to hide. His gaze snapped to a prayer garden just to the side of the building, and he sprinted through the gates, scrambling his way to a small shed in the back of the gardens and pressing himself up against the wall, holding a hand over his mouth to muffle the violent sobs that attempted to rip themselves from his throat. 

Virgil pressed himself harder against the side of the shed as he heard frantic footfall coming his way, and a voice calling his name. 

_Ropes, they’re coming to tie you up and make you pay for your sins._

Virgil’s mind supplied as the footsteps became louder and _louder_ and **_louder, and-_ **

**_Heavy_ **

Virgil felt the weight of something heavy fall onto his shoulders, but it wasn’t a bad heavy, it was _familiar_ somehow. 

**_Safe_ **

Someone.. Someone was saying that he was _safe._ Could that really be true? Was it really safe? 

**_Steady_ **

A steady rhythm was being tapped on his knee. What was it? 4 - 7 - 7…. No…. 4 - 7 - 8? What was that rhythm? It was strangely familiar, just like the strange weight. Hold on, it was something Emile had taught him, right? Breathing… breathing…. Breathing something. So he was supposed to breathe into the pattern? But how was he supposed to exhale twice? Or breath in twice for that matter? Or was it…. It was hold. He was supposed to hold his breath, right? 

**_Slow_ **

Everything was oddly slow as Virgil tried to follow the pattern. He felt like his world was drenched in molasses as he worked to even out his breathing and slumped onto the wall. He let his eyes rest shut for a couple minutes before slowly blinking them open. He had to open and close them a few times before his vision was clear, but when he did he saw Joan sitting on the ground a few feet away from him. The distance was close enough that they could jump in if anything happened, but far enough away to give Virgil some space, which Virgil was very thankful for. 

Joan sat quietly as Virgil recuperated, taking in his surroundings and identifying the weight around his shoulders as his hoodie. Once Virgil figured out what it was, he immediately went to fumble with the buttons for his dress shirt to take it off and switch it out, his want for a feeling of safety overwhelming his usual anxiety over people seeing his scars. He pretty much forgot about Joan’s existence entirely as the tight shirt stopped restricting his movements. He just sat there for a second, enjoying the feeling of the cool air on his skin before slipping his hoodie on as he noticed that Joan had respectfully turned their head to the side to give Virgil some privacy. Once the shirt was laid on the ground beside him and he was comfortably situated in his hoodie, Virgil looked over to Joan, who was still looking to the side. 

“Y-you’re good to look now,” Virgil croaked, wincing at the sound of his voice and letting out a small cough. Trying to clear his throat. “Thanks… for everything, I guess...” He added on, allowing dropping his gaze to his lap as the two sat in awkward silence. 

“Of course, Virgil. I’m sorry that Mrs. S pressured you into wearing the dress shirt in the first place. She’s very specific and strict when it comes to formal church gatherings. She’s had her fair share of rough spots and she believes that wearing proper attire is paying respect to the god who helped her through them,” Joan explained quietly, their volume never surpassing a quiet speaking voice. “She is very religious, but it’s alright if you don’t feel the same, or if something about it was freaking you out or triggering you. We shouldn’t have pushed you to come here. You’re a guest, and a human, and you deserve to be respected.” 

Virgil’s mouth hung wide open in disbelief. He knew that these people were accepting, but the reality didn’t really settle in until now that not only did they _not want to hurt him,_ but they were willing to go _out of their way_ to make sure that he wasn’t uncomfortable. The realization left a weird warmth in his chest, and he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about it.

“It’s not your fault, you and Lauren even tried to stop her in the first place, which is much more than most people have done in the past when they see I’m uncomfortable with something,” He shrugged it off, missing the concerned look from Joan as he let his eyes wander the garden. It was actually quite beautiful when he got to see it without running for his life. 

“Plus, you’re definitely not at fault for anything that Pastor Andr-” Virgil cut himself off with a shudder. “That _he_ did, so you have nothing to apologize for. It’s nobody's fault but my own that I can’t keep the barrier between the past and the now working properly.” Virgil explained. “Plus, I should have kept better control. I know you guys aren’t going to hurt me, and that you probably wouldn’t let anyone _else_ hurt me without good reason. I know that I’m not _there_ again. I got away from there and I know it, so I shouldn’t have been freaked out about it.” 

Virgil cast his gaze down to his lap, glancing up every now and then to see a hesitant look on Joan’s face. 

“Bud,” They started awkwardly, hesitating before continuing. “I don’t think that’s a very healthy way to look at it. You’re right that it’s now my fault, or Mrs. S’ fault, or even this churches’ fault, but it’s also not yours,” They said, looking up to meet Virgil’s gaze. Virgil almost recoiled at the pure amount of _empathy_ and _concern_ in Joan’s eyes. 

“Wh-what?” Virgil stuttered, his brain trying to grasp such a foreign concept. “ Why _wouldn’t_ it be my fault?” He asked uncomprehendingly. 

“Well, think of it this way,” Joan said before continuing. “Was it your fault they did the things he did? Did you do anything that justifies him hurting you so badly?” They asked. 

“I guess- I mean - I don’t think so?” Virgil responded, although it sounded more like a question than a statement. “I mean, technically I can’t choose my soulmates, so I guess he couldn’t really blame me for that. I mean, I wasn’t the perfect child, but I didn’t do anything remotely horrible other than existing.” He mulled over before nodding, interested to see where Joan was going to go with this. 

“Alright, so we know it’s not your fault that he hurt you. So any fallout from said actions isn’t really your fault either,” They pointed out. “Our brain works in weird ways, and it’s not like you _chose_ to have a panic attack or flashback, and you sure as hell didn’t _want_ any of this to happen, so I see no reason for you to be the one to blame.” They concluded, a kind smile easing onto their face as Virgil seemed to contemplate their words. 

Joan held back a snort of laughter as Virgil narrowed his eyes at them and tilted his head slightly as if trying to make sense of the strangest thing to ever walk this planet. However, his inspection was cut short by calm footsteps coming into the garden. 

“Joan, Virge, are you guys in here?” A voice called into the garden. 

“We’re over here Tal!” Joan called back. Soon after Joan called back, Talyn walked around the corner. A look of relief washed over them as they sat down next to their date mate and found Virgil to be unharmed and responsive. 

“You gave us quite the scare there, dude. Are you alright?” They asked, concern gleaming in their eyes, 

“Y-yeah. I’m all good.” He responded, hesitating before giving a bit of explanation he was sure they wanted. “My, um- My past church was really shitty, and I just- I got scared, I guess?” He tried to explain, but even to him it sounded more like a question, his voice raising at the end of his sentence. “Yeah- um, sorry for running out, and freaking people out- or- yeah. Sorry about that. I- uh- I’ll try not to do it again” He apologized, dropping his gaze to his lap and fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve. 

“It’s alright, Virgil. There’s nothing to apologize for,” Talyn assured him. “ You were just trusting your instincts, I get that. We won’t fault you for having a panic attack or anything, and _especially_ not if it’s linked to trauma.” They stressed. “And if at any point you are uncomfortable, or feel triggered by something we are doing, or something we _aren’t_ doing, then let us know and we will do our best to fix it. We care about you, Virge. We want you to be safe and happy.” They said in earnest, and Virgil gawked at the pure honesty that they conveyed. Frozen in shock, Virgil just gave a jerky nod of acknowledgement 

“Now, the event is almost over, so do you guys want to just wait out here until it’s over and then head home?” Talyn offered, looking specifically over to Virgil, who’s shoulders let go of a bit of the former tension that had appeared at the mention of the ceremony. Virgil nodded his head and gave a small noise of affirmation, as did Joan. 

“Sounds good, Tal. Are you gonna head back in, or join the _cool kids_ club out here?” Joan joked, a teasing lilt to their voice. 

“Well of course I’m going to stay with the cool kids, I’m practically their leader!” Talyn played along using their arms to strike a dramatic pose. Virgil gave a snort of laughter at their antics. 

“Oh yes, Talyn Stokes, the supreme leader and fluffy overlord of the Vetal Miking fanclub.” Joan quipped, bursting into laughter as Talyn threw themself at their partner and screeched like a cat. They ended up sitting on top of Joan’s chest and then shoving a middle finger into their face, 

“ _T_ _hat_ should teach _you_ not to mess with royalty.” They chided, a prideful smile set on their lips. 

The three of them sat in silence for a while, sometimes Joan and Talyn would try to make small talk, but Virgil’s answers were short and clipped. He was honestly just really tired, and he had the inexplicable urge to hide under the covers and ignore the world for a couple hours. 

Virgil nearly jumped out of his skin when the church bells rang, signifying the end of the ceremony. He swallowed harshly and pushed back the memories and fear that threatened to overwhelm him. Any trace of a carefree smile was gone as his face hardened into a mask as he leaned back slightly against the wall of the garden shed to push himself up off if the ground and follow Talyn and Joan out to the parking lot, where they found Mrs. S talking to the Sermon from before. Virgil slowed a bit, ducking back behind Joan and Talyn to try and stay out of sight, but he realized it was already too late when Mrs. S called out his name. 

“Virgil! Are you alright, dear? You looked like you were 5 seconds from passing out when you ran out. Gave us all quite the scare, boy.” 

Despite the lack of harshness and aggression in the lady’s tone, Virgil still flinched back at the words, hunching over a bit more as he subconsciously curled into himself, as if trying to make himself smaller. 

“Y-ye-yeah. I-um. Sorry- about- um, that.” He stuttered, his shoulders raising more with every failed syllable. His anxiety grew with every moment of silence that passed. He missed the concerned glances sent to Talyn and Joan, who just shook their heads in a silent message to drop it. 

“No harm done, Virgil. I’m just glad you’re alright.” She says cautiously. “ I have someone who wants to meet you, if that’s alright.” She said, pausing to get Virgil’s affirmation. Virgil goes ramrod straight as she gestures to the sermon, an intense fear taking root in Virgil’s eyes as he gave a frantic nod, 

“Of course, Mrs. S,” He replied quickly and formally before turning to the Sermon. “Hi, Sermon, sir. I am Virgil Arron’s, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He introduced himself quickly, the speech obviously rehearsed and drilled into him as he formally dipped his head in greeting, trying not to show how much he was trembling beneath the gaze of the man.

“The pleasure is mine, Virgil. You may call me Sal, there is no need for formalities. I am not above you in any way, so you need not treat me any differently than you do these guys. I am a friend as much as a speaker for the church.” Sal introduced himself, giving Virgil a relaxed smile when the boy pulled his shaking gaze up to the man in front of him. The shaking teen jerked his head in what could be vaguely interpreted as a nod. 

“Of course si- SAL! I mean, Sal. I’m sorry si-Sal.” Virgil sputtered, trying his best to keep his stuttering to a minimum, but his racing heart did not help his case. It felt wrong not to address the sermon professionally. Even though Sal had stated his preference, Virgil still couldn’t help the spike of anxiety that not using the honorary brought. 

Sal kept his voice soft and measured as he spoke onwards. 

“It’s alright Virgil, no harm no foul,” He said nonchalantly. “So, I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you a distant cousin to these guys, or just new in town?” He inquired. 

“I’m just passing through,” Virgil answered quickly, instincts still drilled into him from his past church. Respond quickly and honestly or suffer the consequences. “ I am on my way to Washington state to find my soulmates. Unfortunately, the couple I had met in Maine that was allowing me to stay with them was unable to help me get there, but they happened to know Lauren, who generously offered to allow me to accompany her to this family reunion to complete the first leg of my trip. And then Joan and Talyn offered to allow me to fly back to Washington with them so I can find my soulmates.” He explained. Everyone blinked in surprise at the formal language that Virgil was using. They had never seen this side of Virgil, before. And truth be told they weren’t too keen on seeing it again. 

“I see,” Sal said. “How do you plan on getting back through here though? If you came with Lauren, then you’re a long way from home up here, aren’t you?” He asked, sending a concerned glance to Mrs. S, who was simply watching the conversation with a surprised expression. 

“I don’t plan on going back. I am going to live with my soulmate and his Parents for as long as they will allow and then hope to find somewhere else if they tire of me.” Virgil explained, his voice monotone and his expression relaxed, although it was clear to see the panic being shoved down beneath the façade. 

“Well, know that our doors are always open should you need somewhere to stay, Virgil. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and beyond.” Sal assured him, sticking out his arm to shake Virgil’s hand, but awkwardly drawing it back when Virgil instantly flinched back, impulsively taking a step backwards into Joan’s chest, who quickly caught them as they stumbled, placing a reassuring hand on Virgil’s shoulder. Sal gave an awkward nod before walking away. 

The moment Virgil hit Joan’s chest, something switched in the boy, changing from a forced façade of calmness to an eerie vacancy behind his eyes. The boy didn’t even flinch as Mrs. S approached him. He just simply maintained eye contact and spoke when necessary. 

“Virgil, are you alright?” She asked, keeping her tone soft and her volume low. As she addressed the hoodie clad teen. 

“I’m alright, thank you for your concern Mrs. S” Virgil said robotically. 

“Mrs. S, do you mind if we head home early?” Joan asked, sending worried glances down to Virgil, who just seemed to stare ahead vacantly. 

“Of course, Joan. Why don’t you three head on out, I’ll let everyone else know.” She assured him.

“Thanks, Mom,” Talyn thanked her quickly before placing a hand on the small of Virgil’s back and leading him to the car, where Virgil sat in the back seat and Talyn went to the passenger’s seat of the car while Joan put the keys in the ignition and started to drive home. 

The car ride was silent, neither tried to get Virgil to talk. It seemed that the boy had simply shut down completely, distancing himself from his emotions and fears and becoming a temporary shell of himself. They’d seen it in passing once before after a particularly loud night where Virgil had left soon after his answers became much too formal and clipped for his normal speaking patterns.

Once they got home, Virgil headed straight to his room and didn’t join until dinner, where he seemed a bit more alive than before. He was still withdrawn and anxious (even more than normal), and he didn’t flesh out his stories into full tales, but any progress was good progress. 

And that was enough for now


	11. A Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally saying goodbye to Lauren's family, Virgil finds himself confronted by fears and doubts that he had been avoiding thus far, but the others will gladly remind him that he is not alone.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Mentions of past abuse, using Benadryl to sedate a child for a flight, irresponsible parenting, gang violence, mentions of murder and violence, self doubt and self hatred, mentions of conversion therapy, attempted validation of abusive behavior(Virgil tries to excuse his parents actions and paint them as okay). 
> 
> Not beta read, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical mistakes in advance.

**Chapter 11: A Hope**

It was a busy morning as everyone packed up their things and got ready to head out. Chandler was getting Sabrina’s stuff ready as the girl spent the last couple minutes playing with Lauren. Oscar and Milo were already on their way home, having had to leave early to be on time for some event. Joan and Talyn were busy packing and making sure that they had everything that they needed for the flight, double checking their passports and paperwork. Virgil was being surprisingly quiet in the room he had shared with Sabrina for the last couple days. One would think that he would be pacing and hyperventilating at the mere  _ thought  _ of being so close to going on his first ever plane ride and then finally meeting his soulmates. 

That’s not to say he wasn’t  _ terrified _ . He was petrified at the mere  _ idea  _ of meeting his soulmates. Their parents would no doubt hold grudges against Virgil for the pain that he caused their sons, no matter the circumstances, and he had heard about how amazing and protective his soulmates’ parents were. He had heard the tales of how Mrs. Baloyi marched up to Logan’s teacher and demanded to know why Logan had received a detention for correcting the teacher on false information. He had heard how Roman’s brother Remus had beat up a kid for making homophobic comments towards his brother. But perhaps scariest of all, he had heard about how  _ kind  _ Patton’s mothers were to even the nastiest of souls, how neither woman ever laid a hand on the girl who had given Patton a black eye, instead asking her why she did so and simply letting her off of the hook with a polite warning when she could not meet their eyes. That pair terrified him the most. He was used to dealing with anger. He knew the best ways to minimize their anger and make the punishment as swift as possible, but he did not know how to deal with kindness. Plus, it had been proven time and time again now that he was capable of bringing pain upon other people. The people in his past may not have been incorrect in calling him a damned soul. He really didn’t want to be the ones to break these wonderful people.

He had spent his entire life hanging onto the tiniest sliver of hope that someday he would meet his soulmates and have his happy ending. Even when he distanced himself from the three he couldn’t help but fantasize about how it would feel to be the target of their affections; how it might feel to have someone hug you  _ just because  _ and love you without abandon. He wondered what it might be like to have someone to stand up for you when others try to knock you down, or to have someone to talk him down from panic attacks. But he also wondered what it would be like to  _ love _ . How amazing would it feel to be the cause of Patton’s toothy grin and sparkling honey eyes? He wondered if he would be able to see the galaxies of knowledge within Logan’s eyes as he explained something he was interested in. He wondered if he would feel like a knight if he were to adventure out into the world with his prince. 

He had spent his entire life dreaming, hoping,  _ praying to a god he didn’t believe in,  _ that everything would be alright. But what if he got a glimpse of that love only for it to be ripped out of his hands? Reaching the finish line only for the ending to suddenly disappear, leaving you with no clear path and no end in sight, nothing to fight for. He didn’t know what he would do if his soulmates turned him away after he got there. He literally  _ depended on them.  _ Technically he had Remy and Emile’s phone number if he needed anything, and he had no doubt that Talyn and Joan would help him out if he got kicked out, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to ask for their help if anything happened. They all helped to get him to this point and he wouldn’t dare throw it back in their faces by telling them that their efforts were useless in the end. He would probably just live in the streets for another couple years until he was old enough to get a job. He had survived one year,(barely, but he would be more careful this time), he could survive another few. Or maybe his soulmates would turn him over to the cops and he would be put into the foster system until he inevitably aged out. That was probably more likely. Virgil knew that they were not cruel creatures by nature, and even his sick influence could only taint them so much. Patton would  _ never  _ just let him go out onto the streets, even if he’d killed a man. 

In order to try and distract himself from these unwanted thoughts, Virgil grabbed his drawstring bag ,(in order to save money and hassle Virgil’s clothes had been placed in Talyn and Joan’s suitcase along with his toothbrush and toothpaste.), and went downstairs to the living room where he sat down on the couch next to Lauren and Sabrina, who were talking about some cartoon with rock people?  _ I will never understand cartoons.  _ Virgil thought with an amused smirk as Sabrina starts acting out some part of the show while Lauren watches and half heartedly participates from her seat on the couch. Once Sabrina was done acting out a good half of an episode, the little girl sat down with a coloring book and started drawing, letting the room fall into a comfortable quiet. 

“Are you all packed up and ready to go?” Lauren asked as she reclined back onto the couch, stretching out and folding her arms behind her head. 

“Yup,” Virgil confirmed, pulling one knee up to his chest and letting the other continue to dangle down to the floor. “It’s not like I had much to pack anyways. Joan and Talyn took most of it into their luggage last night.” He explained, mostly just trying to make idle conversation. 

“Hmm,” Lauren hummed in acknowledgement, her eyebrows drawn in thought before she turned her head to face Virgil. “Is this your first time on a plane?” She asks. 

“Surprisingly, no. I have been on a plane a couple times before.” He revealed, in a surprisingly calm tone. “Back when I was about eight my parents tried to take me to some creepy conversion therapist guy in England, they were  _ pissed  _ when nothing changed after a week of talking to the guy.” He explained. “That and a couple of other international efforts to ‘fix’ me. But most of them were when I was younger, so I don’t remember much of them. However, I have been told that as a child I absolutely hated flights and they ended up drugging me most of the time with Benadryl or some crap.” He said with a shrug. Those particular memories didn’t really phase him because he didn’t remember much of them. He remembered the beatings after them, but he tried not to dwell on those. 

“Isn’t it, like,  _ highly dangerous  _ to do that?” Lauren asked incredulously. 

Virgil shrugged. “Well, I wouldn’t say that those two were exactly the epitome of good parenting, but I don’t think it’s  _ lethal.  _ Plus, I’m pretty sure they would rather run the risk of complications happening on the plane than having attention brought to them by a screaming and crying child. The only way they knew how to shut me up was by beating, and I don’t think that they could get away with that on a plane.” 

“Geez,” Lauren winced, pretty obviously downplaying her reaction. Virgil could see the anger that burned in her eyes. “And the worst parents of the century award goes to-drumroll please- Mr and Mrs. Fartface who I deny are even related to this precious puffball.” 

Virgil snickered, covering his smile with his hand. 

“Far from a puffball, but I also don’t think they could accept that award. At least they  _ thought  _ they had a valid reason. It wasn’t entirely pointless or cruel in their eyes.” He replied, a hint of sentimentality in his eyes. “But even despite that, the local gang where I was living on the streets used to have a saying. It went something like: ‘Blood may be thicker, but our river will never run dry.’ I think it plays off of that saying that ‘water is sweet but blood is thicker.’” He explained. “They would say it every night to remind themselves that no matter who hurt them in the past they always had each other. And that was definitely true. I never got hurt when I was with them.” He reminisced, a small genuine smile on his face as he thought back to some of his first friends. 

“They sound like good kids,” Lauren said approvingly. 

Virgil snorted in laughter. 

“Oh, don’t get the wrong idea, they were assholes. They killed people and are probably on the run from the police somewhere. They were messed up beyond repair, but they still had some good left in ‘em. Deceit and Duke, who were more or less the leaders of the group, agreed to take me under their wing for my first month out there, showing me how to avoid cops and get enough food to survive. After the month was up they booted me out and warned me that if they ever found me on their hit list or stealing their supplies they wouldn’t hesitate to blow my brains out.” He revealed, amusement twinkling in his eyes despite the gruesome nature of what he said. “Didn’t doubt them for a second. Rumor has it those two had been out there since they were little. They knew how to survive and had no problem taking someone else out to do so. Admirable trait if you ask me.” 

Lauren stared in shock, her mouth hanging wide open as Sabrina colored on the floor, thankfully paying no attention to the conversation behind her. 

“Geez, Virge. How did you manage to get Lauren to go speechless? I’ve tried every trick in the book, but she has always had _something_ to say.” Joan questioned with a smirk as they came downstairs carrying their luggage, Talyn not far behind them. 

“ _ No way!  _ Dude, you have accomplished the impossible,” Talyn congratulated him as they ruffled his hair. 

Lauren sputtered indignantly. The room broke out into laughter as her mouth flapped open and closed like a fish out of water. 

Once the laughter had settled down and everyone else came downstairs, everyone started saying their goodbyes before heading out. Virgil kind of expected to just sit there awkwardly, which was why he was surprised when Sabrina jumped up onto his lap and gave him a hug. Virgil sat in shock for a moment before awkwardly reciprocating the embrace, looking at Chandler, who was making their way over with an amused smile. 

“Hey, I know we might not be that close, considering I only met you two says ago, but I hope you know that we’ve always got your back if you need anything. Anyone here would gladly give you a place to stay if you need it.” They said with a soft smile. “You’ve been a pleasure to have around, and I think Sabrina has really enjoyed your company,” They said, sending an amused smirk at the child that was still affectionately hanging onto Virgil. 

“Yeah!” Sabrina exclaimed, “You’re really funny, and you play cool music, and you make aunt Lauren squawk like a bird!” 

The room erupted into laughter once more, and both Lauren and Virgil’s faces turned beet red. Virgil laughed in earnest, a deep bellied unbridled laugh that left a sort of warm feeling in his chest that he had been all too willing to live without until now.

“And this is why I love little kids,” Mrs. S joked as she walked over to Virgil, Pulling the little girl out of the teen’s lap and allowing Virgil to stand up and put his bag on his shoulders. “Don’t be a stranger, you hear me? If you ever find yourself down on your luck you find your way back down here and let us help, kapeesh?” She said, her tone stern, but so filled with love that Virgil couldn’t bring himself to be scared. 

“You got it, Mrs. S,” Virgil confirmed, giving her a two-fingered salute. “And, thank you Chandler… for everything.” Virgil gave Chandler a small shy smile. Chandler smiled back and gently ruffled Virgil’s hair before wrapping him in a loose embrace. 

“Any time kid,” They assured him before pulling back from the embrace. 

The two simply smiled at each other and shared a small nod of appreciation before Virgil made his way over to Talyn 

“You ready to go, kid?” Talyn asked him as he approached the couple.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Virgil replied with a nervous smile. 

And admittedly, that was pretty far from ready, but he knew that no matter what happened next, 

he has people who will catch him if he falls. 


	12. A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. He's finally here, but is here truly where he wants to be? Does he even really know the answer?   
> Virgil is almost to his Disney ending, but will that truly be it? Is it really over? Can he really trust that he will be safe?
> 
> Chapter warnings: general anxiety and anxious thoughts, catastrophizing, mention of hypothetical plane crash, mentions of death, existentialism (Virgil has way too much time to think.), mentions of bullying and homophobia, overall pessimism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy, look who finally posted something after one month-   
> I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, I kind of ran out of inspiration for this chapter and then got distracted working on a mix of school and a bunch of writing projects that will probably never see the light of day. Anyways, we've almost made it to the end! The next chapter will just be an epilogue of sorts. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I will see you in the final chapter!

**Chapter 12: A Home**

Virgil tried to take a deep breath as he moved subtly to walk closer behind Talyn and Joan as they walked into the airport. It was loud, packed, and all around a not very Virgil approved place. Talyn and Joan were talking about mundane topics as they made their way over to the desk where they would be checking in with their flight. Virgil glanced suspiciously around as the two adults seemed to scan the crowds before moving towards one of the less crowded lines where a short darker skinned man stood with a beaming smile as he waved the three over to his line. 

“Talyn! Joan! Good to see you!” The man said cheerfully as Talyn and Joan handed him some papers with their flight information. 

“Good to see you too, Terrance!” Talyn returned the greeting. “Is everything all set?” They asked. 

Terrance was silent for a moment, inputting any necessary information into the machine before smiling and handing Talyn three tickets as well as a small dark blue booklet that was shoved into Talyn’s shirt pocket before he could get a closer look. 

“Yup!” He said cheerfully, his grin softening as he sent Virgil a sympathetic smile. “We’re rootin’ for you, kid. Knock ‘em dead in Washington,” He said with a gentler tone before turning to Joan. “Make sure to go through the left lane in security and go to gate A13. Everyone knows what’s up.” He assures them with yet another blinding smile. 

“Thanks, Terrance,” Joan thanked the man. “We owe you one. Let us know if you’re ever in the area, alright?” 

“You got it, Stokes!” He confirmed before waving goodbye to them and signaling for the next person in line to come up to the desk. 

Virgil’s anxiety only increased as they walked down to what Virgil assumed was security. _What did he mean ‘they know what’s up’? Is something going to happen? AM I GONNA BE ARRESTED?_

Virgil’s thoughts came to a screeching halt as a steady hand was placed gently on his shoulder. Virgil flinched back in instinct before snapping his head up to meet Joan’s concerned gaze. 

“How are you holding up, Virge?” He asks softly, which Virgil is appreciative of because once he was no longer lost in his thoughts, he began to realize just how _loud_ this place is. 

“What- um,” Virgil hesitates, only continuing when Joan gave him a small nod of assurance. “What was t-that man at the desk talking about?” He asks it so quietly Virgil isn't sure that Joan could hear it at first, but their reassuring smile let Virgil know that they _had_ in fact been able to hear his question. 

“You mean with all of the going through certain lines and the people at the gate ‘having us covered’?” They clarified, continuing when Virgil gave a nod of affirmation. “Well, when you travel, you’re supposed to have a passport. But, since you don’t have one, I asked Terrance, the man at the desk, if he could pull a few strings for us so that you could get on without anyone getting up in your business about it.” They explained. “As far as I know, Terrance talked with some friends that helped him make you a sort of one time use passport. He also told certain people, such as the person at the gate and Jamahl, who you’ll meet in a minute, so that we could get through as smoothly as possible.” 

Virgil’s face morphed into one of disbelief. 

“Terrance and his friends are willing to do something _illegal_ that could cost them their _jobs,_ to help out a stranger that they’ve never met?” Virgil parroted in disbelief.

“Most people are much kinder than you think they are, Virgil,” Joan said with a sad smile. “Not everyone is out to get you. There are kind people who do kind things without reason, and as long as you find those kinds of people you will likely find even more of them.” They said. “Sure, there are some bad apples out there, but there are many more good people than bad ones. You just have to know how to find them.” They assure him, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Virgil wasn’t quite sure he believed it, but he got the feeling that Joan didn’t exactly expect him to, so he simply nodded and continued walking slightly behind the two, trying to keep his panic from growing at the overwhelming amount of noise around him. Eventually, after a few more minutes of walking, they reached the security checkpoint. As the man at the desk had instructed, Joan and Talyn walked up to the left security lane, smiling and waving to the officer who was working there. The man was tall with dark skin and black hair that was styled in a type of tamed afro. The man looked kind enough, being gentle and friendly with the people he was scanning, but Virgil had long since learned that looks could be deceiving. The fact that Joan and Talyn trusted the man-made Virgil feel slightly better about it, but he was still stiff as a board and ready to bolt at the drop of a hat as they walked up to the man. 

“Hey, Jamahl,” Joan greeted, stepping up to the scanner once the officer on the other side gave them a thumbs up. Virgil watched suspiciously as they stepped into the machine, waiting for the machine to beep and flash a green light. It didn’t seem….horrible.... But Virgil (naturally) still had his doubts. He cautiously stepped up to the machine when the woman on the other end gave him a thumbs up. He stood at the edge of the machine, looking back to Talyn for reassurance that this was, in fact, safe and necessary. Talyn simply gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“It’s alright, bud. All it does is basically take a weird picture that will let them know if you’re carrying anything dangerous. As long as you took everything out of your pockets back at that carry-on bag checker you should be all set.” They explained, trying to ease the teen’s anxiety. “I promise you will be alright. The machine won’t do anything to you. It’s just taking a picture.” They reassured him.

Virgil still looked unsure, but he gave a small nod anyways and stepped into the machine. He stood apprehensively, keeping his arms above his head as the machine instructed. 

“So, Virgil, right?” The man -Jamahl?-, asked. Virgil just nodded his head, staying circumspect as he eyed the man warily. Jamahl simply carried on, ignoring the non-answer. “Have you ever been up to Washington state before, or is it your first time?” 

“First time.” Virgil responds, trying to think of what this man could possibly gain by talking to him. 

“Mmhm,” The man hummed in acknowledgement. “I’ve been up there a couple of times before. Really nice place,” He said, and before Virgil knew it, the scan was all done. “You’re all good, kid. You can go stand over by Joan and get your stuff from the bag check.” He instructed with a smile. 

Virgil blinked in surprise, silently nodding and going over to Joan. It wasn’t that he’d expected the machine to _hurt him_ , he knew Joan and Talyn wouldn’t do anything that would cause him harm, but he also didn’t expect it to be so pain _less._ Like, he didn’t even register it turning on!

Thoroughly confused and a bit less on edge, Virgil grabbed his stuff from the conveyor belt and put his stuff back into his bag. After a quick goodbye to Jamahl, the trio went on their way, walking up to their gate and sitting down in the chairs near the boarding gate to wait for their turn to board. 

Getting on the plane was about as much of a non-event as it could be. Virgil was rightfully stressed out of his mind at the fact that he was _illegally_ boarding a plane to go visit people he had never met outside of the dreamscape. It was a fact that Virgil couldn’t keep his mind off of as the plane took off. The feeling of going up into the air freaked Virgil out at first, as he gripped Joan’s hand so hard that both of their hands had nearly lost circulation by the time the plane leveled its altitude.

Virgil let his mind wander as the world passed in an endless horizon around the plane. He had approximately four and a half hours before they would be getting off the plane- assuming they didn’t crash and burn in some desolate forest in the middle of nowhere and nobody survived, leaving the only witness to their screams of terror to be the trees that tower over their dead bodies...

Just about the prime amount of time to contemplate his life choices and possible future! 

If Virgil was being honest, he wasn’t even really sure what he was scared of anymore. It was more just a large ball of jumbled anxious thoughts that spun endlessly in his head. Some were fears of his soulmates or their families hating him, while others were a bit different, such as worries about what his new life would be like assuming, they _did_ accept him. He would have to go to school of course, what if the kids didn’t like him? What if everyone found out how stupid he was and he was bullied for the entirety of his school life? What if the _teachers_ hated him and flunked him in his classes? That had happened back in his old town. He had been failing every class but art because Ms. Arned was a godsend and probably the only person that didn’t hate him in that god forsaken town. 

But there was something more prominent on his mind that sounded nice in theory but scared him to no end. What if that really _was it._ What if everything was perfect, and the families liked him, and he got to live happily ever after with his soulmates? It just didn’t seem possible. He had always been scared, always had something to fight against, to be fearful of. But what would happen if he didn’t _have_ to be afraid anymore? That thought was almost as unnerving as returning to his parents and begging for mercy. It had to be too good to be true. Nothing was perfect, and nothing in Vigil’s life had ever gone according to plan. Sometimes things worked out in the end, but there was always a lot of pain and suffering in between. Meeting his soulmates had always been his dream, his final destination. He had never really thought about his future before, always assuming that he wouldn’t have one in the first place. But if this was really _it_ then what would come next? 

Would he get through high school and then college and end up working a fancy job with a fancy degree, providing income that kept a roof over the heads of him and his soulmates? Would he flunk out of high school or college and end up working a job that didn’t require a degree, like a barista or something? Would he still be the same person by the end of his life? Did he _want_ to be the same person at the end of his road? He honestly didn’t know if he _could_ change in the first place, but he decided that if it meant that his soulmates would be happy, he might be able to give it a try. 

Virgil nearly jumped out of his skin when a gentle hand came to rest on his knee. He whipped his head around, his eyes locking with Joan’s apologetic face. 

“Sorry, bud, I didn’t mean to startle you,” They apologized. “You seemed pretty lost in thought there, penny for your thoughts?” 

“A good mix of existentialism and shitty educators,” He said with a shrug. “Not really much to say.” 

Joan smiled as they noted how calm Virgil seemed. It might just be a sort of numb acceptance, or maybe he just somehow ran out of existential fear, but as long as the teen wasn’t freaking out about it, it was a win in their book.

“Well, at least I know who to call if I am ever in need of life changing philosophy debates.” They joked with a smile. “Food is coming around soon; do you want anything?” They asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to check anyways. 

As expected, Virgil shook his head. 

“No thanks, I’m all good.” He responded. Joan _kind of_ wanted to push it a little further, but he also didn’t want this calmness to leave, so he decided to table it for now and just make sure to get him to eat dinner later. 

The rest of the flight passed in relative silence for the trio, Joan and Talyn talking a bit over dinner while Virgil ate silently. A couple hours after they ate, the announcement that they were landing was made, and Talyn and Joan grabbed their bags from the overhead storage and Virgil unclipped his seatbelt, standing up and curling into himself as the noise level around him crescendo. The trio waited until most of the other people were off the plane before they stepped into the aisle, taking their bags with them as they got off the plane and went through security on the other side. 

Once they had their bags, the trio took a shuttle bus to the parking lot and found Joan and Talyn’s car. After helping load the bags in the trunk, they all got into the car, Joan at the wheel, Talyn in the passenger seat, and Virgil in the back. 

“Your soulmates live in Selah, right?” Joan double checked. 

“Yeah, 38, Ponder Drive, Selah, Washington.” Virgil recited. It was an address he had already memorized, having repeated it over and over in his head many times by now.

“Cool! It looks like that area is pretty much on route for our drive home anyways,” Talyn commented, looking relieved at the thought of going home. Virgil could echo that sentiment, except for him it was more just ‘let’s just settle down in one place for a while.’ rather than ‘getting home.’. He loved his soulmates dearly, and he was already putting almost all of his faith in them by even _coming here,_ but he wasn’t sure how long it would be before he could feel safe enough to let the rest of his walls fall down, or if they ever would. 

The drive from Spokane to Selah was pretty uneventful, a few pit stops along the way, but it wasn’t too bad. Three hours was _nothing_ compared to the 24 hour drive that Virgil and Lauren had done from Maine to Iowa. Virgil spent most of the drive looking out the window, ignoring the impending sense of doom and excitement that was welling up within him. Honestly, Virgil was just hoping that he didn’t make a fool of himself by having a panic attack at Patton’s doorstep. 

Virgil watched as the rolling hills passed by outside of the window, amazed at how different it was from the lush forests of Maine. Back in his hometown you couldn’t drive for more than a minute before there were tall green trees surrounding you, but here it was more likely that you wouldn’t see trees for miles, the forests being replaced by rolling yellow fields and thistle with the occasional patch of shrubs and trees. Trees became more frequent as they went further from Spokane, although it was still much less woodsy than he was used to. He supposed that he would get used to it in time. The three were silent for most of the trip, the radio and the sounds of the car being the only noise to fill the silence. It was about three hours later that Joan spoke. 

“Looks like we’re almost there, Virge.” Joan let him know as they pulled off of the highway and started driving down smaller streets with houses lining the road. 

And now it didn’t really look all too different from Maine. Virgil took comfort from that fact. It was all just houses with families that lived in them. The for-sale sign on that one house in the corner looked nearly identical to the sign on the old house at the end of Virgil’s road back in Maine, and the buildings in the town center really didn’t look all too different from the ones near Emile’s practice. He was so far away, and yet there was still a semblance of sameness that allowed a little bit of tension to slip from Virgil’s shoulders. However, that tension came back tenfold as they pulled up outside a small blue house with a white mailbox and a flower garden out front. 

Virgil froze as he suddenly realized where he was, what he was _doing. What was he doing!?_ He was literally showing up, out of the blue, to a _stranger’s_ house, _states_ away from his home. What. The. _FUCK_. Was he thinking? Correct answer: he wasn’t thinking at all. He had been so excited to meet his soulmates, to finally have someone who would care about him and who he could hold onto when he felt unsteady that he had completely forgotten to follow any of the logic that had kept him alive so far. Stay hidden, stay away from the unknown, and _never trust others._ He had managed to break all of those rules the second he agreed to this ludicrous plan, and now he was probably going to pay for it. Things were going to go wrong. _They always did._ So why would this time be any different? 

Virgil glanced into the window to see the exact reason why it might be different. There were three reasons that he hadn’t refused Lauren’s offer and stayed hiding in Remy and Emile’s guest bedroom for the rest of his life, and they were all sitting on a well-loved couch waiting for him. 

Virgil took a shaky step out of the car, his movements jagged and uncoordinated as he grabbed his bag and walked up their driveway before he could convince himself otherwise. Virgil took a deep breath as he forced himself to take a tremulous step up onto the porch. He looked back to see Joan and Talyn giving him a thumbs up as he raised a shaking hand to the doorbell, and quickly pressed down on the doorbell before he could back down, and then quickly took a step back, nearly tripping off the porch as he jumped backwards, his shaking hand flying to his chest as the door was flung open by Patton. 

_Patton,_

His amazing soulmate who always had kindness to spare; the little boy who loved puppies, and kittens, and every fluffy thing on this earth but was deadly afraid of spiders. Right there, in the flesh, looking at Virgil like he was the only thing in the world. Virgil knew the feeling. Virgil felt his heart beating in his chest as his eyes moved to the second figure, who stood just a little bit taller than Patton. 

_Roman,_

The prince of his dreams, the hopeless romantic with a heart of gold who wanted nothing more than to be the hero in someone’s story. The young boy who had loved every Disney movie and never outgrew his love for Disney princes. The teen who came up with an endless supply of nicknames. Virgil’s hero was here, his sharp emerald eyes meeting Virgil’s Mocha gaze as they took each other in. And, finally, the tallest of the three stepped into view. 

_Logan,_

Logan, the scholar, the nerd, the Doctor Who enthusiast and Sherlock Holmes lover. The man who refused to admit his affinity for onesies and who always wore a tie no matter the occasion. The teen who would tell Virgil all about the stars and their stories, but as much as Virgil loved the stars, the only ones that mattered, the ones he could never live without, were the ones that lit up in Logan’s eyes as he talked about his passions. 

Virgil stood there, pale as a ghost, thin and scrawny with nothing to offer but his love, and he couldn’t help but wonder how he had ever come to have such wonderful soulmates. He realized belatedly that he should probably say something. 

“Um… hi?” 

Virgil swears that to this day, he had never been hugged as tightly as he was in that moment. There weren’t many words in that moment, just the excited fluttering of hearts and hands, movement assuring all of them that this was _real; no, Virgil, you aren’t going to wake up back in an alleyway in Maine, no. We’re here._

Virgil didn’t remember much of the conversation that they had, no. It wasn’t something he remembered with sharp accuracy. But among the chaos of greetings and tears, there was one phrase that Virgil would always remember. It was something he had been told a few times before, but there was something different about it this time. Maybe it was the fact that it was echoed by the three voices that Virgil trusted most in this world, or maybe it was just the only coherent sentence that he understood in the flurry of emotions. But whatever it was, it was the first time that Virgil had truly been able to believe the words that left Patton’s mouth.

“ _Welcome home, Virgil.”_

**_Home_** , what a thought. But, despite his anxiety, perhaps, just this once, Virgil could trust the words that left his soulmates mouth.

_He was home._


	13. A Boy; Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An end is just another beginning, but whos beginning might it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, my friends, it's the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has decided to read this story, and a huge shout-out to those who have been here since the beginning! I truly love this story with all of my heart, and it makes me so happy to see that so many of you enjoy it as much as I do. Part of my goal in writing is to be able to share my work with others and turn someone's day around for the better, and I have been so lucky in being able to have so many viewers on this story. As of right now, this story has reached over 2,000 views, and I could not be happier. I just wanted to say thank you to every single one of my readers, whether you have been following this story for a while, or maybe you're a first time reader! Either way, I hope you have a wonderful day/evening, and enjoy the finale.  
> \- Aspen <3

**Chapter 13: A Boy**

_*DING DONG*_

“ _Honey, can you get the door please!?”_

_“Sure thing, Pat!”_

Virgil set down his headphones and stylus, quickly saving his work before getting up from his desk and making his way over to the front door. An easy smile formed on Virgil’s face as he saw the two young men waiting outside the door.

“Thomas, Nico, it’s nice to see you!” He greeted. “Where are the little terrors today? - _oof!!_ ” 

Virgil nearly toppled over as two little forms came launching at him. Virgil caught them with practiced ease, slinging them over his shoulders as he invited the two men into the house with a wide grin. 

“ _Patton, Roman, Logan, guess who finally came to visit after months of avoiding us!!”_ Virgil called in a singsong voice. The shorter of the two men pouted at Virgil. 

“ _Wow,_ what a greeting for your one and only son,” He deadpanned, but the smirk on his lips made his amusement clear. 

“ _DO I HEAR MY SON!?”_ A familiar cheery voice called as a quick footfall soon heralded a bubbly Patton with batter on his shirt. “Tommy!” He exclaimed cheerfully as he wrapped his son in a bear hug. 

“Wow, I feel left out here,” Nico joked, rolling his eyes as Patton immediately moved to hugging Nico instead. He simply stuck his tongue out as Thomas pouted before gently removing himself from Patton’s grasp and moving over to his husband and giving him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t worry, love. There is still plenty of love to go around.” 

Virgil rolled his eyes at their affection and plopped the two children down on the floor, kneeling down to their level so they could properly hug him. 

“ _Grandpa Virgil!”_ They cried out excitedly, latching their arms around their grandfather. 

“Nope, just Virgil,” He said sternly. “I’m not _that_ old yet. I’ve only got, like, _two_ gray hairs! You’ve gotta wait until you can actually see them to call me grandpa.” He joked, laughing as Percy, the younger of the two, stuck out his tongue at Virgil. 

“You look like a grandpa to me!” Percy said, holding back laughter as Virgil feigned shock and betrayal. 

“ _Oh, gods! My own kin! How could you do this to me!”_ He announced dramatically. “ _What ever will I do!?”_

Virgil smirked as the two boys broke into giggles

“You could start by getting up off of the ground, love,” A smooth voice called as Logan entered the foyer. 

_“Lolo!”_ Julian, the younger of the two boys, called as he scrambled off of Virgil and ran into Logan’s waiting arms. 

The college professor easily scooped up the little terror into his arms and placed the boy on his shoulders, smiling as he nodded to Thomas in greeting before offering Virgil a hand up off of the floor. Virgil accepted the hand, dragging Percy up in his arms and pressing a quick kiss to Logan’ cheek. Virgil laughed as Percy fake gagged at the show of affection. 

“Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind, so will _someone_ please tell me why I was not summoned to this family party?” Roman teased as he came down the stairs. 

“Sorry, Ro! I just got caught up talking to Tommy and Nico, and Virgil and Logan are a _bit_ preoccupied.” Patton apologized as he went over to Roman and led him over to the couch. “Come on guys! Let’s all go sit on the couch and we can keep talking!” He offered, beckoning the other to sit down. 

Everyone plopped down on the couch and began chatting. Roman and Patton were talking to Thomas and Nico about Thomas’ channel and Logan was telling Julian all about some of his latest findings while Virgil set Percy down on his lap.

“So, what have you and your soulmates been up to?” He said with a conspiratory wink.

You see, there was something in particular about Percy that had pushed Nico and Thomas to adopt the young boy. It was many things about him of course: he had a bright mind, a blinding smile and a big heart, but most special of all, was something that hit a little closer to home for the family. You see, the most prominent reason of all,

He was a boy with two toned skin, bright golden eyes, and _three little boys, dancing inside of his head._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you think I missed anything in the tags or chapter warnings, then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can.
> 
> See you in the next chapter!  
> \- Aspen


End file.
